What makes a woman talk shite?

Here’s an ad that is such a colossal puddle of fucked-up nonsense that it made me stop in my tracks:

(That’s obviously the Japanese Chinese version. Here’s the English VO.)

What makes a woman beautiful? Happiness and energy.

Come on? Who among you guessed those two traits? Happiness, maybe, but energy? Energy is what makes a woman beautiful? They couldn’t think of an abstract noun that trumped energy? How drunk were they?

Happiness is the most attractive form of beauty; the one that comes from deep within.

But how does that then relate to Lancôme Rénegerie? I appreciate that it ‘visibly tightens all facial zones’, but will the happiness you get from that benefit really overcome the misery you feel inside when you realise you’ve just succumbed to the tissue-thin wankerama of a multinational cosmetics company?

This is what makes people remember you.

…said the Oscar-winning actress who starred in the second-biggest film of all time and married someone called Ned Rocknroll.

I know that taking the piss out of cosmetics ads is too much like shooting a whale in a teacup, but this one seems particularly odd/lazy/bollocksy.