But what’s he done?
If you work for a top 30 agency, I’ll bet you a fucking ton of cash that there’s someone pretty high up in your creative department who has never done a single piece of advertising work that you have either heard of or respect.
It might be a talentless chap or chapess who blagged his way into CD-ing a digital agency when they were desperate for anyone half decent (although as I understand it, for the most part ,that is still very much the case) and then kept that role when your agency bought their place. Now he’s a CD of Top 30 Place Who Were Gagging For Some Digi Creds, despite being fairly shit at the C part of CD.
It might be a happy, smiley fella who has popped over from some shop in the States where he was Head of Experiential Communications. Now, having designed a shop front for Wankado and Son that won a Silver Andy and a Copper Mobius award, he’s pretty hot shit. Even hotter shit is his headhunter, who has managed to convince Top 30 Place Who Want To Look Like They Are Forward Thinking/Cool that they need this guy.
It might be a useless cunt who has never done a good ad in his or her life but is really darn good with the clients and has worked out exactly which anuses to lick at Top 30 Agency Who Couldn’t Really Give A Fuck About Whether Or Not Their Ads Are 9/10 Or 6/10, and now here he is: boss of a bunch of people who are far better creatives than he.
In the three categories above there are many, many people who are now climbing to the top of the creative depts of big agencies. Good God, I’d love to name names, but that’s the great thing about this: I don’t have to. We all know about the American ‘designer’ who became a CD on a big account at a big agency before being found out and moving on to a few more agencies where the same process happened. Every one of us has encountered a some nimrod who can spout the right digital buzzwords in the right ears to cover up the fact that he’s done no good ads. And we’ve all been down the pub when our friend from another agency explains in stunned disbelief how their cracking idea has been blown out by a retard who’s never even heard of John Webster.
But the real question about this is why? Aside from the reasons I have suggested above, this phenomenon is both a symptom and a cause of the general Fucking Of Creativity that is undeniably going on right across the world: creativity itself is less important, so promoting client-friendly uncreative people is the current move for an MD to make. Equally, the more these berks maintain client retention while simultaneously producing creative work that no one really cares about, the longer they will keep their jobs and the harder creativity gets fucked.
The title of this post will be familiar to anyone who had worked in a proper creative department (by that I mean one staffed mainly by people who have been regulars in The Book). Whenever anyone got too big for their boots or received an undeserved promotion the rest of the department would ask, ‘But what’s he done?’ That was because everyone rose and fell on the back of one thing: their work. The ads they made. The shiny baubles they won for those ads being appreciated by their peers in award schemes that held more sway than the current batch.
Now, if you have three Pencils, they could be for Digital Crafts Cinematography, Writing for Design and Live Action Special Effects. Now, that doesn’t mean your three ads are shit, but it does mean that your award shelf looks the same as the guy down the hall who has won best 60″ TV ad three years running.
So what does it matter? It doesn’t, and everyone knows it. That’s why dildos are getting hired all over the place.
Is there an answer?
Well, you can choose to play the game and make sure you know how to make the people that matter like you.
Or you can accept that’s not why you got into the business, try to make the best ads you can and hope that works for you instead.
It might be a matter of how good you are. Obviously, route one is a brilliant development for people who know how to smile and press flesh but are shit at the somewhat trickier business of creating brilliant advertising. Route two only works for people who really love what they do and are prepared to sacrifice the most secure route to a payrise for a Bronze at Creative Circle.
Route three is being good at both. Fucking difficult but worth a try.
Good luck.
Is route 1 what ceo’s go down?
Blimey.
Are you this angry in person?
It’s not anger; it’s despair mixed with disappointment. And bemusement. A big chunk of bemusement.
But isn’t it a waste of energy worrying about what some bloke has or hasn’t done?
Word to ya mother.
Loads of talentless fuckos in charge. Not even good at the D part of CD.
Phil, all a bloke is is what he has or hasn’t done.
Damn, that’s why theagencyisacunt.com was so good.
what i don’t understand is whether you are FOR people getting promoted for awards or not. it seems to change from one post to the next.
Isn’t the world full of ass-kissing cunts who like to steal and cheat and think they are more creative and smarter than anyone else, so no one will notice what they did while they tell you with a straight face you are not good enough for shit? Not that any of those idiots gives credit where credit is due, unless there’s a gun held to their heads.
You know it’s a cunting world when you see cunts promoting cunts.
I’m that smart in real life. You should hear me bang on about important issues.
Anonymouse: have I ever offered a definitive opinion? I don’t think so, because the answer for me is that it very much depends on the awards.
Are you talking about Lars De Dah, from Cunter, Fucksy, McPrick?
He’s an absolute shower.
Why do so many CD’s leave agencies to go and direct… its like a premier league footballer leaving and managing whilst still in his prime. I would rather they stayed in agencies and inspired us, i work under a right plonk whos done nout good really, but a few years ago there was a great CD here, sadly before my time.
There seems to be a dearth of great CD’s, lots are directing and many aren’t nearly as successful at that as they were as creatives, whats the draw? Is that why there are so many nobs occupying important positions.
a definitive opinion? no you haven’t.
my post expressed genuine interest rather than sarcastic criticism.
i just assumed your position was that awards were a shaky foundation for career development.
now i assume you like the principle of awards as the basis of career development, but would like the awards themselves to have integrity?
Ben, I think what Phil meant was don’t worry about what other people have done, just worry about what you’ve done.
E.g http://www.futurebrand.com/about/globalmanagement/
Anon 12:24, sure but I think it’s human nature to have an opinion of somebody based on all sorts of things. No man is an island etc.
Anonymouse, I assumed that your comment expressed genuine interest and I hope I answered appropriately. I know it’s hard to get tone of voice into writing, so if I failed and came across rude, I apologise.
Imagine me saying my reply while leaning back in a leather armchair with a glass of port in one hand and a copy of the Sunday Sport in the other.
I may well be wrong about this but I’d like to throw it out there anyway. Maybe what people have done is less important than it used to be because these days everybody (and when I say everybody I don’t mean absolutely everybody) is more talented than what they are able to produce in this environment. So a little (or a lot) more talent than it takes to do the job hasn’t got any extra value. Why would it if it never never gets the opportunity to be put into practice?
I’ll add to that the fact that these days, a beautiful crafted print ad, no matter how perfect, just doesn’t have the wow factor it once did. When people call something ‘sweet’ aren’t they really just saying ‘good but so what’?
Apparently very few brands have managed to leverage all of their consumer touchpoints in a way that maximizes brand expression.
http://www.interbrand.com/paper.aspx?paperid=70&langid=1000
I know Leslie Butterfield is a top strategist at least…
http://www.interbrand.com/about_us.aspx?langid=1000
having worked in a few of the Top 30 agencies both freelance and full-time, I’ve seen plenty of fucking chancers acting out their fantasy of being a CD. The ones who most need a Glock in the face are the Digital charlatans who do tend to have worked in the States. usually just for long enough before they got found out. They inevitably tend to be a) short and b) a rapper/DJ/’connected’ with some spurious urban shit like graffiti, oh, and c) shit. They also have an annoying tendency to be people from yoiur college who went off the radar for a while because they couldn’t get a job in a proper agency and ended up below the line or in a digital-ish place in the 90s called Plop, DisCo, or MonkeyBiscuit. The whole point of ‘what’s he ever done?’ is that when your work is going through the Koncept Krusher you actually think he might have a point. It may, indeed, be ‘a load of cunt’. When it comes from a short-arsed Napoleon, who has never appeared in any ‘Book’ and has only ever got his name on anything after a /, dreams of violence and savagery are inevitable. A year ago, 2 aspiring CD’s were up for an ECD job in London. One was well-known for his forthright views on the work, strong background in TV & Print and well-stocked awards cabinet, the other for his charm, media-neutrality in a siloed world, winning smile and ease with tricky clients and… and… god, do I need to go on?
Nominated at the clitoris awards. I despair. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3156641/bio
well said mr. turner! have seen plenty of this myself. big agencies are ideal breeding ground for talent-free sociopaths. poisoning works a treat!
Bloody chops.
Isn’t anyone going to name names?
I’m relatively new to this advertising malarky so I want to know who to avoid.
I love this article and my jaw dropped on my keyboard when I read it. It also made me laugh and look up around at who might fit the people you are talking about.
It makes perfect sense which is scary.