I bet she doesn’t drink Carling Chrome.

The explanation from Carling, who posted this on YouTube, goes thusly:

The Ad is set to a classic British track and tells the story of a couple getting ready for a night out. Our hero notices a Carling Chrome poster which causes him to start thinking about the refreshment of an ice cold Carling Chrome. We then rejoin the couple as they enter a bar to meet their friends, finally enjoying the refined refreshment of Carling Chrome.

Ummm…

1. I had to restart the ad six times before I stopped being confused about what was happening at the beginning. The shots of the record player and woman and man and all that… I thought I was supposed to be following a plot of some sort (the explanation says it’s a ‘story’ about the couple getting ready to go out) but there is no plot. It’s just some stuff. Some eighties black-and-white stuff that seems really quite odd. The man looks out of the window and notices, apparently for the first time, a massive fucking ad for Carling Chrome on the building across from his flat. Then we zoom into his eye* and see that this makes him think of a trippy water visual, then his girlfriend’s earrings made of beer, then some more beer, then his watch strap clasping his wrist in a really dynamic way. Then we see his face and he looks like he’s just inhaled some poppers. Then he and his girlfriend go to a bar and drink cheap lager out of bottles. Yes, even the model-hot girl. She looks like the type, doesn’t she? Cheap lager out of a bottle. In a ‘classy’ bar. And I wonder what they do for a living. I only ask because they have a reel-to-reel tape player in their living room. That’s unusual for a pair of bland yuppies who drink cheap lager out of bottles in a ‘classy’ bar. And although they have a reel-to-reel tape player, they like to listen to Mark Bolan on vinyl then drink cheap lager out of bottles in a ‘classy’ bar. You can see why I’m confused.

*2. Carling, Carling, Carling… we’ve been over this. When you made your last ad I clearly advised you not to zoom into a man’s pupil. Clearly. Come on. I don’t do this shit for the good of my health, you know.

3. One of the YouTube commenters says: ‘Off to steam clean my computer now I’ve soiled it by playing this piece of rancid, over-blown, mid-eighties crap’.

4. He then adds, ‘My apologies to the Eighties, it was never this s**t’.

5. But that means nothing. After all, another YT commenter says, ‘That music is a blatant rip off of Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis!!’

6. Is it refined? Really? Refined? I have yet to taste Carling Chrome, but I have my doubts.