The Ten Horsemen Of The Activation Apocalypse

Much of advertising in the 2020s is kind of dull.

I’m not just saying the the usual ads are more boring than they used to be. I’m also pointing out that all the advertising money that has gone to GoogleBook has added nothing to our happiness or entertainment.

But have no fear!

There is still plenty of exciting work around. The only problem is, it stays in pitch and presentation decks, seen only by a select few, most of whom couldn’t care less. That’s because it’s just there to make up the numbers, excitement-wise.

If you were to pitch a client with nothing but ‘SEO FTW!’ and ‘Slide The Zuck half your budget and let him get on with it!’, you would be met with colossal underwhelm (even though that’s what many a client will end up doing).

So you need fireworks! Whistles! Bells!

And they come in the form of activation/earned/experiential ideas that will never see the light of day.

So there’s no need to bust a gut coming up with them. Simply add your potential client’s name/product to one of these ten ‘ideas’ and you’re golden!

  1. The Podcast. Despite the fact that there are already a million podcasts around, and most of us listen to maybe ten of them, in areas we’re already find fascinating, many agencies still like to suggest there might be an audience for Chicken Tonight-Cast, during which Holly Willoughby will interview various celebs about their favourite chicken tonight recipes.
  2. The Museum. It could be The Museum of Unused Pots and Pans because you’re using Deliveroo so much you no longer need to cook. Or it might be The Museum of Millennial Icons because you’re bringing back the Tamagotchi. Or just the plan old Museum of Chicken Tonight, where all the best CT recipes (presented by an AI holographic Holly Willoughby) will be presented for all to see.
  3. The Pop-Up. No need to take out a lease on a shop or hire an expensive exhibition space. Your idea can simply be a pop-up shop/gallery/museum (see above) that will garner acres of press and break the internet BASED ONLY ON THE SHORT-TERM NATURE OF ITS EXISTENCE.
  4. The Spotify Playlist. If your product is helping sad people to be happy, why not add a happy playlist that EVERYONE WILL DEFINITELY LISTEN TO INSTEAD OF THEIR OWN CHOICES OR THE CURATED PLAYLISTS OF SPOTIFY? Campaign about sharing? Include songs by Cher. Campaign about families? We Are Family and Family Affair are right there for you to ruin.
  5. Influencers. Where they’re micro, macro, unboxing or setting a challenge, influencers (or ‘cheap celebs’ as they’re otherwise known) will do anything for a fiver, and all their followers will definitely buy what they’ve been paid to flog.
  6. VR/Metaverse. Of course it’s all dead as a doornail (apologies to anyone dumb enough to buy that Apple headset for three grand), but that needn’t stop you saying VR, AR, ARG or anything else that might cover up how ignored this idea will be in 2025.
  7. Hashtag Challenge. Yes, the Ice Bucket went everywhere for free, so your ‘Chicken Tonight Bucket Challenge’ is bound to go just as viral. Or it would if anyone was sad enough to give a shit about it.
  8. Celeb Du Jour. When I was working on Apple 10-15 years ago, Bill Murray made an appearance in every deck (I think we ended up using him approximately zero times, and that was Apple). Although those days are probably over, you can always chuck Bob Mortimer or Alison Hammond on slide 78 instead. Of course, it doesn’t matter if they don’t want to do it, or they’re too expensive; you won’t be hiring them anyway.
  9. Artwork. Might be a statue, might be a mural, might be an ‘immersive sculpture’ (whatever that is). Just use Midjourney to mock up an image of people looking at some giant jar of Chicken Tonight in a city square and you’re golden. Or not.
  10. 10.Finally, the Massive Conventional Media Campaign You Can’t Afford. Adidas can turn a billboard into a swimming pool; Chicken Tonight cannot. Apple can buy every ad in Vogue; Curly Wurly cannot. BUT DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU! Mock up a 50m media buy. In fact, make it 100m! You are never going to do this, so the spend doesn’t matter.

And that’s it!

Impress your clients!

Use up slides!

Weep!

And, most importantly, console yourself with a podcast of chicken songs curated by Holly Willoughby in a VR experiential pop-up art space.