If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

1. I always think it’s funny when people explain why, for example, they decided to go with a small ad agency rather than a big one: ‘I’d rather be a big fish in a small pond,’ they say, ‘than a small fish in a big pond’. Well, unfortunately, the size of the fish doesn’t change, just the size of the pond. You, person who needs to feel more significant, are actually a small fish in a small pond. A big fish in a small pond would be, say, Nike choosing to give their account to Joe Bloggs Advertising. Moving the Tunnocks Teacakes account to such a place is merely double small.

2. Why do people add ‘aholic’ to words when they want to convey an addiction to something? Alcoholic is just ‘alcohol’ with ‘ic’. Instead of workaholic, hard workers should just be workic.

3. ‘Have you got anything smaller?’ shopkeepers say as you hand over a twenty or fifty pound note. They have a weary air of accusatory disappointment as if you’re draining their till of valuable change for the day. But what they fuck else are they going to use their tens and twenties for? A twenty pound note can only be of any possible use when making change for a fifty, and a ten for a twenty. You’d think they’d be more annoyed if you bought something for £1.12 with a fiver. That takes loads of valuable change out of the till, but they never seem to mind that. I think it’s just something they’re trained to do in shopkeep college, like writing that sign that shows they can’t deal with more than two schoolchildren at once. If I were that inept I’d keep it to myself.

No need to thank me for the hours you will lose.
(Thanks, B.)

See? They can do good things when they try (smiley face made from punctuation).

End of an era.

I never met him, but I heard all the excellent stories (particularly a couple that can be found in Dave Trott’s book) and I couldn’t help admire the hell out of him from afar.

The one major Frank story I was able to follow was the setting up of Red Brick Road and I have to take my hat off to anyone who can exact a revenge so fully and successfully.

The industry will be far, far poorer without him.

People often say that if both members of a team think the same then you only need one of you.

This occurred to me the other day when I was considering whether it is the similarities or the differences between me and my working partners that makes the ‘magic’* happen.

On the one hand I think common goals and aspirations are handy. Do you both want to win awards? Help charities? Earn money? All three? Your opinions in this regard will determine whether or not you are heading in the same direction and can help to inform every professional decision you make. Perhaps as an analogy, you might, as a football team, be happy to grind out bromidic 1-0 wins, or you might prefer the kind of open play that produces entertaining 4-4 draws. The commonality of purpose is what counts here.

However, to continue the analogy, a team with eleven strikers or eleven goalkeepers is going to be fucked. You need to combine your skills to bring about the greatest results. In economic terms this is referred to as division of labour, although the idea of a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts is the way most people think of this.

So you might, like me, be happy to eat the same meal day after day, take the same route to work and prefer routine over spontaneity. As far as I’m concerned, this leaves fewer things to distract me from more important matters – get the quotidian set and there’s more room in your brain for the flights of fancy (I believe Einstein wore the same clothes every day for this very reason. And because he was a lazy bastard).

On the other hand, you might like to keep your brain in the same creative mode all the time, trying something new in every single area of your life like a jackdaw with ADD.

Whatever suits.

Funnily enough, I always thought the phrase ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ was actually ‘familiarity breeds content’.

Read into that what you will.

*The definition of ‘magic’ in this instance is ‘stuff’.

My snowman appears to have a bit of a cyst

(Thanks, L.)

Today’s my last day of work before Christmas.

I might post sporadically over the next couple of weeks.

Or I might get drunk and eat too much.

Only time will tell.

Merry Christmas.

And a Happy New Year.

xxx

PS: if you haven’t seen it, Bad Santa is the best Christmas movie of all time.

PPS: Avatar was cool. Hokey storytelling but lots of fun.

So I’m walking along the street this lunchtime and I hear someone say, ‘You know Publicis London have made this video…’

Weird? Maybe.

Did I mention I’m in fucking Amsterdam right now?

Anyway, here’s the first ‘response’ video:

(thanks, B.)