If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

Here’s an article about Cannes that makes quite a few points about why it’s losing its way, but the main one is that no one seems to know or care about the actual awards.

And here’s another that says Marin Sorrell is ‘maybe…maybe… maybe…’ thinking about considering contemplating entertaining the idea of perhaps quitting Cannes.

Golly!

Apparently it’s turned into a big networking exercise that’s full of talks and celebrities and costs a lot of money.

Also: bears defecate in wooded areas and the Pope is a big fan of Catholicism.

So I’m not sure why this year has led to more of these articles. Cannes has always been a colossal booze-up masquerading as an expensive networking exercise masquerading as some sort of celebration of the best advertising has to offer. I believe different people get different things out of it and those things are clearly valuable enough for the attendees to take the time and expense to fly in from LA or Sydney or Tokyo.

Has it lost its ‘relevancy’ (and more to the point, when did the word ‘relevance’ transform into ‘relevancy’?)? Is the data side of the business being sufficiently represented? Is it worth listening to Richard Littlejohn and/or Katie Hopkins talking about anything other than their imminent plans for suicide? Is Cannes a topical allegory for the bloated EU?

If people care less and less about actually seeing the awarded work then there’s a very simple reason for that: unlike 10-15 years ago much of the work can be seen on several global websites that collect the best work throughout the year. The work that is enjoying a surprising debut on the Croisette is almost certainly the kind of depressing scam that feeds into the tedious circle-jerk that leaves many of us cold.

Have a watch of Rory Sutherland for some fine wisdom on the subject:

So it’s the same as it always is: plenty to complain about if you’re that way inclined, but I kind of see it as a version of Chelsea FC or the films of Michael Bay: many people see the appeal, many do not, but neither are going away anytime soon, so what’s the point in getting your knickers in a twist?

I’m not here to make friends:

If you liked The Force Awakens at the time but not in retrospect, this is why.

Vintage LA photos.

Kubrick’s biggest influences.

Gift of Gab:

Let’s enhance:

OMG… 30 minutes of Jerry Lewis’s infamous holocaust movie have surfaced!

Terrible signs.

The New York Subway in the 80s (thanks, T).

Curbed outtakes (thanks, T):

2016 Tarantino commencement speech:

Interesting defendant…

Today the wider media shook its head at another dismal example of the ad industry’s most pathetic behaviour…

The headlines:

ADVERTISING INDUSTRY SHAMELESS IN ITS MORAL BANKRUPTCY

SENIOR AD INDUSTRY FIGURES DEPRESSINGLY CORRUPT.

JUST AS WE THOUGHT: ADLAND POPULATED BY CRAVEN, SCHEMING FUCKWITS

LYING, DECEIT AND FAKERY ALIVE AND WELL IN AD INDUSTRY

“WE’RE SO SHIT AT THIS, WE HAVE TO MAKE THINGS UP” ADMITS PACK OF TITS

Seriously, can everyone involved in this just fuck right off?

It’s hard enough trying to maintain credibility in the face of the jargonistas who can’t use one word if 35,000 will do.

And all the online ads that are so annoying that adblockers are the only way of maintaining your sanity.

And the sophomoric race to the next shiny new thing, like kittens chasing the light from a laser pen…

When we have to deal with another Lifepaint cackwipe it really doesn’t do us any favours.

For a communications industry whose entire reason for existence is to present things in their best light we are pretty fucking AMAZING at doing the opposite when it comes to ourselves.

I’m currently driving from New York to LA and back (family holiday).

Somewhere between Columbus, Ohio and Triadelphia, West Virginia, I saw an Oreo truck, which made me think: who invented Oreos? And isn’t it fucking amazing how popular they’ve become and remained, across many countries?

Isn’t it funny how much we venerate music, movies and art, yet barely spare a thought for Etch-a-Sketches, Prets and biros, all of which often impact our lives in much more fundamental ways.

Look how creative Arctic Monkeys and 12 Years A Slave are! Watch as they sell a million albums or win a bunch of Oscars! Compared to the genius who discovered the Mars Bar combination of caramel, nougat and chocolate they are both gnats farts.

And no, I’m not saying that creativity is a popularity contest, but to have made such a consistent, positive and lasting impact on so many millions with an invention is surely a far greater act of creativity than an album whose shelf life is a couple of years at best.

You could even compare these other things to classics like Casablanca or St Pepper: they’ve lasted decades and still give the same enjoyment to subsequent generations that weren’t even born when they were invented.

Monopoly, Coke, Robertson’s Golden Shred, your favourite magazine, Clarins make up (or whatever brand you like), Levi’s, Tetris, cats eyes (the ones in the middle of roads), Post-Its, Le Creuset saucepans, the X-Box, Ray-Ban Wayfarers, your favourite blogs and podcasts, Pedigree Chum, a great pillow that holds its shape, the Rubik’s Cube, those Saucony trainers that take five seconds off your mile time, a Zippo lighter…

They may not have award shows at Cannes for all of the above (the product design section of D&AD has been eclectic enough to include the iPhone and a JCB, but very few of the kind of things you buy every day), but they ought to be as celebrated as any integrated, 360, mobile wankathon that might win a few Grands Prix.

As an example, here’s a massively-awarded spot from a while ago that might as well never have happened:

What’s a greater act of creativity, that or Cadbury’s Creme Eggs?

And what great creations do you think are more deserving of recognition?

Illustrated maths (thanks, T).

Cats=works of art (thanks, T2).

Food logos redesigned to show their calories (thanks, J).

In the Euros, please support Wangland (thanks, X).

More Euros: the Onion Oracle (thanks, A&O):

In my USA cross-country trip I have mostly been listening to RHLSTP. So much good stuff:

I was listening to some podcast the other day where a famous person (can’t recall who) pointed out that no one teaches you how to be famous. The way she put it was that other famous people don’t just turn up at your door one day and give you the manual; you have to work out every aspect of it yourself. Everyone is different, so every situation is different and no single set of rules can apply to everything.

Which made me think about how advertising creatives learn their craft.

Let’s assume you went to college first. Watford, St Martins, Ad Center and the other ones all give you some level of education which you then take on and hopefully use to get a job in an agency.

Then what?

Then it’s up to you. In my personal experience there are four main sources of further education:

1. Other, better creatives. Maybe they’re in your agency, maybe they work elsewhere but you hear snippets about how they go about their thing. I was lucky enough to work in the same department as many of the copywriters from The Copy Book, but it also took a willingness to learn from them. Being able to show my copy to Mary Wear, Nigel Roberts, Tim Riley, Peter Souter and, of course, David Abbott was an immense privilege. Maybe your department isn’t quite as star-packed. If not, perhaps it’d be worth moving to somewhere that is.
2. Other, better people in general. I had a staff meeting recently where we each had to bring along an inspirational book, which would then be given to someone else at the meeting. I chose the Hamiltome because Lin-Manuel Miranda has smashed through so many doors that were bolted shut, and if you’re going to be any good at anything you’ll have to do the same. But there are thousands of examples to choose from. For a more original perspective it might be a good idea to look outside your own field.
3. Books. I know people say you shouldn’t try to learn from old award books because the work in them is already a year or two old, but I still think you can gain a lot by looking at the rhythms and cadences that often show up in good copy (no idea about art direction, sorry). As far as concepts go, I always preferred the pop promos section to the advertising pages; the work seemed fresher and further away from the beaten track. There are also overall guidebooks, such as Hey Whipple, Squeeze This!, that certainly won’t do you any harm.
4. Everything in the whole world. Surprising one, this: literally anything can help you make your work better. Whether it’s good ads that make you jealous, shit ads that boost your confidence, a certain colour of green jelly, the clothing of Steven Seagal, a trip to Gravesend, a trip to Guadalajara, cattle, teeth, treehouses, jam, a rectal prolapse, a duck, a duck down duvet, the logo on your hoover… You get the picture. Clearly, the more you stuff into your brain, the more chances you’ll have of making some kind of conceptual connection.

Have you learned a bunch of excellent shiz from an unexpected place? Have you bothered to continue your education? Does this all sound too much like school, which gives you the shivers because school was really horrible, especially when Darren Witherspoon pulled down your pants in front of the football team, earning you the nickname ‘peanut’?

Confessions of a stock photography model (thanks, W).

What would happen if humans disappeared?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy7Q6wazD_E&feature=share

In-depth analysis of the rapping and rhyming in Hamilton.

Creativity is like breathing.

Showrunners of dark dramas (inc. Louis CK) explain their craft.

Your brain is not a computer.

The nine best Fantasy Football Phoenixes From The Flames.

The gun bed:

Brexitbelly (thanks, J).

What everyone earns on a $200m movie (thanks, J):

Click, hold then move your mouse (thanks, S).

I think this might work well with headphones and a spliff (thanks, S):

Hi there,

My friend and former colleague Tom Hares is starting a company called Buzzbikes.

Basically, it puts ads on bikes that are then seen around town as they are ridden and parked.

The riders get a free bike made by Mini Cooper, in exchange for which they have to make sure the bike is out and about a certain number of days each month.

It’s already backed by some very smart people, and you too can invest here from as little £10.

And you can find out more/apply for a bike here.

Tom is a top bloke, and the idea does seem like one of those ‘why didn’t I think of that’ ones, so do have a look (full disclosure: I’ve looked very hard into investing but I’d have to pay tax on any profits in both the US and UK, so it doesn’t work for me, but if I were based in the UK I would definitely give it a go).

Cheers!

Ben

PS: Hegs is a fan…

https://vimeo.com/169811800

Dear occasional commenter and longtime reader Anonymouse,

Could you clear something up for me about your most recent comment…

Fuck average people. 

Awards shows aren’t for them.

Was that intended to be a joke? I thought it was, but others have interpreted it differently (that doesn’t invalidate Dave’s blog, by the way; it’s still 100% pertinent and relevant).