How Can Ads Possibly Be Judged Without The Answers To This Questionnaire?

Copywriter (in case he’s a mate/twat)?
Art Director (ditto)?
Agency (5 marks off for Grey etc./Five marks added for Fallon etc.)?
Is this the blag ad you were allowed to make on the side of the boring main campaign?
Did this air between 3am and 4am on Christmas Eve?
On the Teachers’ Channel?
Is it the director’s 120″ that ran once?
Was it a real chore to get the client to buy it, or did it sail through?
Was it a chore to get the planner to drop his/her fuckwitted but well-researched strategy for this simpler one?
Has it already been done by someone else?
Big country where we might have seen it, or shitty backwater in former Soviet Union?
How long ago (five years means it never happened)?
Has it had the high profile backing of an ad luminary, even though it’s shit?
Have the entrants blown a 25×4 up to A2?
And used spot varnish on the serifs?
Did they slightly alter the cut from the one that ran?
Is it the token entry from the shit team in the big agency who might slit their wrists if it’s not entered?
Is anyone involved on the jury?
Are they important enough for it to make a difference?
Was it shot by Frank, Danny, Ringan, Fredrik etc.?
Fashionable client (Nike, Sony, VW etc.)?
Has it already won anything?
Is it a full-bleed picture with a logo in the bottom right-hand corner?

Any more?