Ad agency predictions for 2011

Read them here.

Well, that was a bit fucking dull. Same old shit about Social Media taking over the world and traditional media going for a burton blah blah blah…

But there are a couple of more specific issues I’d like to point out because they seem a bit shifty:

The Social Media bent to the whole thing may be somewhat down to the authors of the list describing themselves thusly: ‘We leverage social media and powerful new business tools to help generate new business leads and improve new business success.’ To me that makes part of point one (‘As more and more agencies look for ways to use social media to benefit clients, they will begin to use these tools to win new business‘) seem somewhat divisive.

Point three says ‘Ad agencies can increase their value by helping clients make sense of a dizzying array of paid and unpaid opportunities.’ Welcome to 2007 everybody! I thought this was supposed to be a list of predictions.

Point five (‘Agency strategic partner role to increase: Marketing and strategy will become even more important. Agency contributions in these critical areas will enhance new business opportunities, revenue and profit’) is that depressing point I mentioned last Monday. More money will flow down the bullshit hole while the actual work gets marginalised. Million dollar strategies for ten cent ads.

Point seven: ‘Marketers will use blogs to communicate their brand story, key messages and develop compelling content people actually want to read.’ I don’t believe this for a second. I admit to being very skeptical about customers giving a shit about ‘brand stories’ and ‘key messages’, but it’s the ‘compelling content’ bit I find most ridiculous. Millions of incredibly talented writers, movie makers and musicians are trying to develop compelling content all day long, and they have interesting subjects like love, revenge, jealousy and bestiality to draw from, yet most do not succeed. The idea that the story of Yoplait can compete is just daft.

Point Nine: ‘Traditional media will continue to decline: No, it won’t disappear but the digital space will see the most impact and growth again next year’ Amazing prediction! Magazines, TV, radio and posters won’t disappear next year! Thank fuck for that. The digital space might well see the most impact and growth again next year, but that’s because ‘the digital space’ is a meaningless catch-all term that can never be challenged. The guys that wrote this seem to me increasingly like a bunch of bullshitters.

Point ten says that ‘SOI (share of influence) is a new, ever-expanding dimension of marketing program management. Agencies will be more aware of the importance of gaining and exerting influence‘. I think even the shittiest agency on earth is aware of the importance of gaining and exerting influence and has been since the year dot. Another great prediction.

Point eleven: ‘Ad agencies apply creativity throughout the enterprise: the best ad agencies will be engaged with clients at the early product development stages, helping to brainstorm, refine and launch new products.  Agencies will begin to apply their vast creative resources (creative smarts) throughout the enterprise for everything from new product ideas to creating entirely new business models.  Such efforts will strengthen the client/agency partnership.’ To me this translates as ‘Agencies will continue to get whatever cash they can from their clients by claiming to be able to do things other than traditional advertising. The best can do this well. The others will just fuck it up because their ‘creative smarts’ (vomit) are shite thanks to lots of creatives fucking off elsewhere, unable to stand pitiful shite like this’.

Roll on 2011.