IAQ (infrequently asked questions)

Here are some things you may not know about this blog:

1. I get a lot of spam. I don’t know how the spambots work out what to do, but when I check my comments approval page there are always a few that have been added to random very old posts. They often say something very nice about the blog or offer a piece of advice, then I look to the left and see that they’re from ‘men’s cashmere scarf’ or ‘X-Box 360’. The most recent example is from esteemed luggage superstar, Louis Vuitton, and says: ‘You made some decent points there. I checked on the web to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site’. Odd, really, as I would imagine Mr. Vuitton wouldn’t expect the readers of this blog to give a toss about all that. Anyway, I’ve hidden thousands of these things over the years, but I still find them strangely endearing.

2. I’ve run out of advertising things to say and I don’t care. When I was an angrier, younger man I could dip my quill in the gallons of bile my stomach produced and rattle off 1000 words about thievery, laziness, racism or something similar. Alas, the well is now far drier, hence the posts about morality and Jesus. I just fancy having a big cyberchat with some quite intelligent people, so if something interesting occurs to me I might see if it hits the spot with a few of you. It helps pass the odd Monday, anyway.

3. This week I was asked why I write ITIABTWC. Well, see number 2, but also I like to keep up the discipline of cranking out words. It’s a muscle that can certainly atrophy, so why the hell not? If I want to write it and you want to read it let’s leave it at that, eh? Also related to this subject is the regularity with which I consider abandoning it, but those thoughts never become that serious. Let’s grow old together, you and I, whoever you are, even the monstrous perverts and those of you who read The Daily Mail.

4. I love it when there’s an ad to put up. Covers a day nicely and ensures a good bunch of comments. Do send them along if you fancy throwing them to some fellow creatives.

5. I put the weeeeekkekndnndnndndn email together during the week, adding to it as funny shit appears on my journey through the internet. Some people send me stuff (thanks, P, G, S etc.), but otherwise I just put up the best stuff from Twitter (thanks, J) and my Facebook friends. There is a bit of method to it, in that I don’t put up things that have already been wiped across every corner of the web (so no Kai the hitchhiker last Friday), but I’m just keen to share anything I enjoy in the hope that it also brightens up your day. Feel free to send contributions to bwmkay@gmail.com, but don’t get offended if I don’t choose them; often I already have lots of links, so I’ll start culling the 7/10 ones if I can replace them with 8s.

6. Sort of on that subject: I don’t like to put friends’ ads up unless they’re unequivocally amazing. If they’re just 9/10 they’re bound to get some shitty comments that I don’t want to be indirectly responsible for. Also, I do feel a strong urge to be ‘honest’, putting up pretty much all comments that come my way (unless they’re personally rude about me, in which case I’ll just change the comment  to make it about you and the loose morals of your female relatives).

7. About 2000-3000 people read the blog each day. I very rarely check my stats and I have little idea of who the readers are, although it’s a pretty fair bet that 90% are advertising creatives, mainly based in the UK, and include a lot of CDs. I think that’s as much a consequence of the lack of similar content out there as it is of the quality of the writing (what an ironically awful sentence). I’m surprised more people haven’t done it, but it does take up a decent chunk of the week. I just happen to find that the pros considerably outweigh the cons.

8. I often come back during the day and check my grammar/spelling etc. All mistakes horrify and shame me. Apologies in advance for any that you might find in future.

9. Finally, some people ask what the name is all about. Well, Christmas is the best thing ever, so if this amazing experience is a mere blog, then where does that leave Christmas in the order of things? Lower down. Does that make sense?

If you have any other questions I’d be delighted to answer them in the comments section. If your inquisitiveness has been satiated, great. If you’re just passing 9:17 to 9:20 on Monday morning in as undemanding a manner as possible, thanks for stopping by.