38 signs you’ve been in advertising too long
Here’s the link (thanks, D).
Only two of them apply to me (12 and 15), which makes me wonder if there might be others which are more accurate.
1. You’ve plugged your own work on Facebook.
2. You accept that posters are now called OOH.
3. You mentally critique the copy on tubecards.
4. At least three dogs regularly spend the day in your office.
5. On slow idea days your first port of call is Fffound.
6. You’ve spent more than ten minutes in your entire life thinking about what a brand might be.
7. You’ve stopped trying to start conversations about ads at dinner parties because you know no one cares.
8. You’ve seen lots of really amazing digital ideas (in award books).
9. You’ve gone through the three stages of scam ads (I’d do one to give myself a leg up/They disgust me/I don’t care anymore).
10. You’ve heard the word ‘ideate’ so many times it no longer makes you want stab people who say it.
Actually, maybe those are just 10 signs you work in advertising in 2014.
Any others?
You don’t know the difference between a platform and a territory but it doesn’t stop you using the words when you’re banging on in a meeting.
You cannot help sniggering at job titles like “Futureoligist” or “Idea Wrangler” or “Digital Tittyfart” or whatever the fuck it is.
You simply do not understand what the flying fuck some people are saying in meetings. Not one fucking clue.
Briefs are so fucking confusing you just do what the hell you think is right because you know that if you asked someone to explain it, the waters would get muddier.
You can’t work out why you have to have different passwords for email, signing in and timesheets.
You still drink really quickly when the drinks are free.
You proudly wear your security pass on your lanyard round your neck as a sort of protest at the way everyone is treated like cattle these days. No one notices and just thinks you’re an old uncool cunt.
Oh an “Imagineer.”
Or as I call them Bastardeers.
You hate planners with a pathological vehemence.
You spend your days plotting your escape route into INSERT NAIVE ARTISTIC VENTURE THAT WILL NEVER EARN YOU A LIVING.
You read this blog.
Ideas Managers
You sit in meetings and work out if it would be possible to kill yourself using any of the implements/fittings in the room
You’ve stopped learning peoples names and just refer to them as those cunts/that cunt
You wonder if you actually did something you loved for a living would you end up hating that too
That said it is Tuesday morning, I do tend to love the industry on Friday afternoon
The older you get, the more like an old cunt you sound. I sometimes say, ‘a bit like ‘Drugstore” or ‘yeah, like ‘Swimblack’ did’ and they stare at me like I did at my grandfather when he mentioned rationing.
You stop talking about the work you do and start talking about brand stewardship. And it doesn’t bother you.
You fart occasionally when you laugh.
You meet your heroes (Axel Chaldecott for one) and aren’t totally awkward and monosyllabic.
You don’t get shit-faced on a Friday afternoon.
@ Adam T
Come on. Admit it. It was your dad who used to talk about rationing….
I think all Brand Stewards should be given those nice hi-viz jackets that have “Steward” emblazoned on the back. And occasionally steam into meetings and arbitrarily throw some people out for swearing too much.
You hate advertising.
When a suit throws you under the bus in a client meeting, you think ‘Ah, they’re just doing their job’.