Ed Morris: don’t want.
Don’t want anything.
I was introduced to this young guy the other day, must have been mid 20’s.
I asked him what he was up to and he said “I want to direct”
I thought about that, the “I want to” bit.
I’ve come to a conclusion.
I think wanting to do something is probably the biggest single barrier to actually doing something. The psychological and literal mechanics behind wanting to do something are the polar opposite to those that would facilitate doing it. All the time you are wanting to do something there’s no way you’re going to do it.
I hear people say “I want to leave my job” “I want to visit Australia” “I want to write a novel” “I want to stop taking drugs” “I want to leave my husband” By wanting they are actually actively engaged in the ‘not doing” of any of these things.
When you chose to want to do something you put an immediate measure of time, ability, circumstance etc between you and the doing.
I believe that the purest form of intention is action…that’s the power we have…we can make thought manifest, that is alchemy, that is magic.
I would caution anyone to be very aware and careful of anything they currently want to do.
“They’re ain’t nothing to it but to do it” is one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite films – Wild style.
Also I’ve noticed that wanting… with time turns in to “wanted” These people with all the “wanteds” are the saddest of the lot.“I wanted to leave my wife” “I wanted to ride a horse naked across a beach in moonlight”“I wanted to spend more time with my children”“I wanted to be more honest with myself”“I wanted to be more assertive”“I wanted to give up the job I hated” But I didn’t.
The ‘wanted” lot have even given up on the possibility of wanting and not doing. That is unfathomably sad.
I don’t think that kid I spoke to will ever direct as long as he lives. I could feel it, I could sense it. It made me sad and angry, for his sake.
If anyone tells me what they want to do from now on I’m going to reply “yes, of course you don’t” maybe followed with “and why exactly don’t you?”
My mum always used to say “I want doesn’t get” and she was right in more ways than one.
It echoes something I heard the other day: ‘While you’re judging yourself by your intentions, everyone else is judging you by your actions.’
Nice.
Wanting or aspiring puts you in a perpetual state of powerlessness. Like you are requesting the right to be a director/writer/dancer/whatever. But it’s also quite pleasant because it hands the burden of responsibility over to someone else. It’s much easier to want in the face of a million noes than to fail because someone said yes.
Some people might also be scared to call themselves the thing they want to be. Because their fraud complex kicks in and they think, “gee, I’m not really that thing I want to be.” But the solution to that is a healthy does of self delusion.
Great guest post.
I want to listen to some new podcasts.
Are there any fresh ones on your radar I should be getting, Ben?
This is great advice. You’re the People’s Front Of Judea if you pine after a change in your life.
The power of words/wording.
A wise person taught me a good while ago a thing about language (and how we use it). I’m a native German speaker, and it works better in German, but the point is the same:
Instead of saying “I will fliegen lernen” (I wanna learn how to fly) say “Ich lerne fliegen” (both “I’m learning how to fly” and “I (will) learn how to fly”).
The latter is a commitment, a promise – free of a timeline or circumstances – one makes to oneself. It takes the action it demands out of the land of wishes and turns it into a call to action. It is up to me when said action is taking place. My brain accepts the action as inevitable, instead of it staying a wish. Thus my path to achieve said action takes on a different form than it would’ve taken had it remained a wish.
Wittgenstein would’ve had a field day with this post.
Great stuff, Ben.
In 1994, Charles Bukowski was buried in a Los Angeles cemetery, beneath a simple gravestone.
The stone memorializes the poet’s name.
It recites his dates of birth and death, but adds the symbol of a boxer between the two, suggesting his life was a struggle.
And it adds the very succinct epitaph, “DON’T TRY.”
When Linda Bukowski, his wife, was asked what it meant she said this:
“Don’t try, do.
Because if you’re spending your time trying something, you’re not doing it …”DON’T TRY.”
Don’t try. Written 1994.
Don’t want. Written 2015.
Yet more plagiarism from advertising folk. Bless ’em.
Do not want what you do not have. That’s my way out.
Gawd – did I always say that? How annoying.
@The Truth: Yoda said ‘Do, or do not; there is no try’ back in The Empire Strikes Back.
I think the wasted time in wanting is a different thing from the wasted time in trying. Although that’s not really wasted because you’re presumably getting better at something while you’re trying.
And Plato before that. Bukowski, plagiarising bastard.
rolls eyes.
wishes placement teams didn’t have access to the internet.
crawls back under light box.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
= Samuel Beckett
Brilliant! Probably doesn’t matter who said it first. The repetition indicates it’s an eternal truth. Probably matters more that we learn from it (if we want to – ‘I want’ can be a good cop out for not taking responsibility, or not facing the truth that we’re a bit shit at that thing we ‘want’ to do).
I expect he didn’t ‘want’ to win the last 3 awards he was entered into , shame he didn’t win then. I wonder if he feels unfathomably sad about that.
“I wanted to be more famous than Persil Automatic”
Wanting is just the introduction.