Don’t want anything.
I was introduced to this young guy the other day, must have been mid 20’s.
I asked him what he was up to and he said “I want to direct”
I thought about that, the “I want to” bit.
I’ve come to a conclusion.
I think wanting to do something is probably the biggest single barrier to actually doing something. The psychological and literal mechanics behind wanting to do something are the polar opposite to those that would facilitate doing it. All the time you are wanting to do something there’s no way you’re going to do it.
I hear people say “I want to leave my job” “I want to visit Australia” “I want to write a novel” “I want to stop taking drugs” “I want to leave my husband” By wanting they are actually actively engaged in the ‘not doing” of any of these things.
When you chose to want to do something you put an immediate measure of time, ability, circumstance etc between you and the doing.
I believe that the purest form of intention is action…that’s the power we have…we can make thought manifest, that is alchemy, that is magic.
I would caution anyone to be very aware and careful of anything they currently want to do.
“They’re ain’t nothing to it but to do it” is one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite films – Wild style.
Also I’ve noticed that wanting… with time turns in to “wanted” These people with all the “wanteds” are the saddest of the lot.“I wanted to leave my wife” “I wanted to ride a horse naked across a beach in moonlight”“I wanted to spend more time with my children”“I wanted to be more honest with myself”“I wanted to be more assertive”“I wanted to give up the job I hated” But I didn’t.
The ‘wanted” lot have even given up on the possibility of wanting and not doing. That is unfathomably sad.
I don’t think that kid I spoke to will ever direct as long as he lives. I could feel it, I could sense it. It made me sad and angry, for his sake.
If anyone tells me what they want to do from now on I’m going to reply “yes, of course you don’t” maybe followed with “and why exactly don’t you?”
My mum always used to say “I want doesn’t get” and she was right in more ways than one.
It echoes something I heard the other day: ‘While you’re judging yourself by your intentions, everyone else is judging you by your actions.’