Brainstorms
Monday’s post was about avoiding showing your work to idiots, but for some reason the commenters seemed keener to discuss brainstorms and exactly how fucking shit they are.
Well, you can give us your own take on this subject in the comments section, but in time honoured tradition, I’ll chuck in my two cents first:
I can only recall being in two brainstorms, about eight years apart. I think this was because the first one seemed so darn crap and annoying that it put me off doing another one for literally thousands of days.
I was a young, naive creative, so when a senior account bod asked if I’d come to a brainstorm, I agreed. After all, what would be the worst that could happen?
Well, most of the time was spent watching junior account handlers trying to come up with creative ideas. And what was that like? Well, it most closely resembled being in a monkey house, watching primates trying to make doilies with a chainsaw. It was then that I realised that good creative ideas were better when they came from people trained to do it, but that doesn’t stop people wholly unable to do it from having a go, and that’s because it’s fun. But for those of us who do it for a living, it’s also kind of depressing, like watching quadriplegics trying to tap dance.
I also felt them looking towards me, as if I, as a creative, might come up with better ideas, cutting through this festival of shit flinging with a sword swipe of genius. Unfortunately, I felt the urge to leave early and throw up in the lav.
Then, years later, some people at my agency suggested we all try to come up with some ideas together (they may not have used the ‘B’ word, but I knew where this shit was heading). Against my better judgement, I agreed. This time was slightly different because it was senior creatives and senior management. However, on this occasion it was just as depressing, but in a different way: the creatives came up with all, literally all, the ideas, while the a/c bods wrote them down and said, ‘anything else?’ in a somewhat infuriating way considering they had come up with nothing useful themselves. It was basically like having a suit in your office while you tried to work.
After a while of this, I got up and suggested that all the creatives would just get together without the a/c dudes and let them know what happened. This really annoyed said a/c dudes, but they just had to suck it up because they were a bunch of cunts and if they weren’t going to contribute, they would just have to add the word ‘shit’ to the word ‘cunts’.
No brainstorms since, however, as a freelancer, I’ll do them if asked. I just might not enjoy them.
Oh, almost forgot: it’s the damn flipchart that really gets up my fucking hooter.
I don’t even like brainstorms made up exclusively of creatives. For me, at least, they just don’t create a healthy environment for good ideas to emerge. There’s no focus and there’s no dynamic between the individuals.
Brainstorms should be banned from creative agencies. Creative teams are made up of 2 people for good reason.
At the end of the brainstorm for a crisp’s new name the one most liked was the one my AD had come up with: Amgems.
The account team loved it.
Sadly it didn’t go anywhere.
Read it backwards and you’ll understand why I say ‘sadly’.
to be honest, my best ‘brainstorms’ happened in the bar after work while talking about everything else but work.
during process of rating the waitress’s ass someone would click, others would elaborate in the next 30 seconds, and back to drinking beer and rating. if the idea was any good you’d remember it next morning no matter how wasted you were (is there any better test?)
for this to happen you need cool people around (and those you drink beer with fall into that category) and you should not make it formal.
WTF is “tommorow at 10 we will get together and come up with something fresh and revolutionary”?
I’ve sat in quite a few brainstorms. 75% useless. And I don’t subscribe to the purist/shit-eating “it’s a brainstorm: every idea is valid” mantra. If you want to spout a tirade of hackneyed or irrelevant ideas, please do it out of my earshot. Think about what you’re going to ay before you open your mouth. But what I hate the most is when you have an idea that’s interesting/controversial/provocative and the git with the big marker pen asks “how does that work, then?” How the fuck should I know, I’ve only just had the idea.
Ooh. Just re-read my entry. Apart from the typo, I wan’t very positive, was I? Sorry about that.
Everyone who works in advertising is brilliant! There, that’s better.
2 brainstorms in thousands of days? you don’t know how lucky you are. there have been times when I’ve sat in thousands of brainstorms in 2 days. you don’t want my life. you do not.
I don’t think anything good has ever come out of a brainstorm.
And yet great writing like The Simpsons, The Wire, The Sopranos all came out of bigger creative teams than just two. It seems that in adland we’re completely incapable of doing similar, though I’ve no idea why.
I was in a brainstorm where the bloke writing the ideas on the Nobo got so fed up with all the shit ideas he broke. He drew a little box and wrote “Shit ideas” at the top of it, then wrote down anything bad in this box. Yes. You heard me. In this brainstorm some ideas were adjudged “not valid.” Otherwise known as “shit.”
When your creative other half trots out some half baked idea (as we all do), you’ve got license to shoot them down with the reply of ‘fuckwit’ in your own company.
In a room full of faces, that sort of retort isn’t really an option.
The way things work at mother, it’s kind of like a perpetual brainstorm. getting clever people, from whatever discipline, together to think about a problem works.
it’s just when you don’t understand how to get that process started, or how to foster an environment where it’s normal, that’s when you’re fucked.
and nothing good can come from it.
I get invited to agency brainstorms from time to time except they call them brain dumps.
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I don’t know why they invite me and I add less than nothing.
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Why would an agency invite me a I have no idea, I sell stuff for as much as I can, that’s the deal.
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Sometimes they call me up the next day and are disappointed with my contribution?
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The reason they get upset is because the rule the put in place at the beginning of the dump. Nobody can say anything wrong or have a bad idea. That’s bollocks. Once I was forced to add an idea and for laugh I said why dont we sponsor Manchester Utd, it went up on the flippy chart thing right next to roller skates that fart?
Hmmm.
Brainstorms are useless most of the times because they are done wrong. If there’s process to it, and the right people are in there, then there’s a chance there might be something good out of it. But sadly most agencies and creatives don’t have any clue how to do it.
You’ve made your mind up about Brainstorms Ben. But you don’t seem to have made your mind up about the usefulness (or otherwise) of A/c men. In the first meeting your deride them for coming up with (shit) ideas. In the second you lambast them for having no ideas (shit or otherwise). Doesn’t sound like they can win.
You’re going into these meetings in a hostile frame of mind Ben. Bad karma.
A friend worked in a company (not advertising) where there was a weekly brainstorm. And there was a table full of coloured baseball caps outside the meeting room. You had to choose a hat that suited your mood (blue = depressed, yellow = cheerful etc etc) before you went into the meeting.
Our business really could be worse……
But Mr. G, I went into both meeting open-minded.
Then, meeting one: shit ideas.
Meeting two: no ideas.
The usefulness of both is identical.
I’ve met and worked with some ace account men (and birds; I’m not sexist), but none of them ever turned up to either of my brainstorms.
I have heard tell from more than one source Tom Ewart used to wear a shell suit to work when he first started.
Can anyone confirm or deny this? He’s seems quite dapper now.
I think there should be a post about CDs appearance and whether it has an impact on the image of the agency in the eyes of the client.
Hate brainstorming. Or as we now call it, co-creation.
“Account Birds” ‚Ä쬆I like that.
Had one yesterday. It was focused around ideas for breakfast. I don’t eat breakfast.
2 hours of my life well and truly wasted.
The clue is in the title. Brain storms. You need people with brains. In advertising those are in short supply. Bejesus, so it is.
I’ve organised tons of brainstorms (or gangbangs as we call ’em) and I reckon we’ve almost always got some kind of creative result……….then again, I quite like the coloured hats idea.
I hate the attitude. I don’t care how many times it’s born out by experience, it’s just a shitty outlook to have. Everybody is capable of having good ideas and even crappy ideas might be a springboard to something good. There’s nothing particularly special about any of us and if there was we’d be doing something special with our time. Of course it may be that you are special and just biding your time, in which case I wish you the best of luck.
Anyway, I like brainstorms because it give me an opportunity to get a laugh out of one of the prettier girls in the agency and sometimes that actually happens although I can’t provide any proof.
Our best brainstorms happen in the toilets.
Brainstorms help me decide who is the company dead wood. Usually shit ideas are rewarded with a P45.
I’d be pretty disappointed if I was invited to join a “gangbang” only to discover it was a brainstorm meeting. Having said that, at my former agency we were all friends (5 of us) and our brainstorm sessions were immensely productive. No one was afraid to say anything, no matter how off the wall. Usually we laughed so hard tears would run down our cheeks, but invariably someone would say something stupid that led to something smarter which eventually led to something brilliant and unexpected. But you have to be very comfortable within the group.
Coloured hats with “Sh*t C*nt” lovingly embroidered in an elegant font.
Sounds like a winner to me.
Massive appeal to those blokes who have trousers rolled half way up their shins exposing garish socks and artfully battered brogues…..
Worst brainstorm I’ve ever attended (I was freelance, felt obliged) was memorable for the organizer snatching my lunch plate (that they’d laid on, bless em) out of my hands five minutes before it was due to start, and, half-way through, some Shoreditch twat trying to ‘connect the room’ by teaching us to breakdance. I’m 40. I wanted to panel the cunt, but just politely sat down with my mortgage in mind.
Tom ewart used to dress like a farmer with a little flat cap, now has some poncy blue suit jacket he always wears. don’t know anything about shell suits but it’s not hard to believe.
Greatings, Come On
Worker
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