arse gravy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P0iPoukGeA
‘In return for one night together, eating proper food with proper gravy.’?
Don’t you just love that subtext that’s supposed to guilt frazzled parents into making sure they have a proper meal ‘together’ with ‘proper’ food and ‘proper’ gravy (by the fucking way, Bisto, your powdery shit from under the fridge isn’t ‘proper’ gravy. That would be the juices from whatever meat you’ve cooked – tricky with a sausage, I grant you – mixed with flour and a drop of wine/cider/sherry/similar. And if you claim to make proper gravy, what’s improper gravy? A cup of the runs?)?
This giant food corporation (RHM) has the bollocks to lecture us about how we bring up and feed our kids? They make Mr. Fucking Kipling cakes! How many extra calories have they piled on the nation’s waistline over the years? How many child-parent arguments have been sparked off by the desire for one more Bakewell Slice? You don’t really fucking care about the fabric of the British family, so don’t try and serve up this mendacious load of shitmongous condescension.
And for the fucking record, sausages aren’t exactly ‘proper food’ either. Unless you buy the expensive ones, they are generally reconstituted abattoir scrapings, as much sawdust and dirt as testicle and eyelid, and pouring your dessicated turd powder over them isn’t going to help.
So, bottom line: you are inconsistent, duplicitous cunts who have tried to leverage the guilt of Britain’s parents by suggesting they have failed in some way if they haven’t done what their kids really want, namely: to sit down in a kitchen with their parents and eat shit in shit sauce.
Thanks for that.
Arseholes.
I detect a holding back here, hard though it must have been, you have succeeded in restraining yourself while delivering a well-deserved polemic to what I can only imagine is a bunch of self-satisfied motherfuckers who believe that once again they have, once again, come to the aid of the British housewife.
Well done(you, not them).
Ciaran
Thanks. I hate arseholes. I hope that’s clear.
I think arseholes are in sausages as well. Kinda makes an arshole Man U fan like me a bit of a chipolata, don’t you think?
Anyway, I tend to refer to sausages as porky bits, sounds good to me, ‚Ķsorry, what was the point of this comment? I seem to have lost my way like I lost that dildo up my missus’s bum-bum. Ah, well, if she didn’t notice the car tyre she won’t notice a little rampant rabbit. Good night!
I fucking hate this ad. Well done Ben for picking up on it, i saw it on the box a few hours ago and am still reeling.
The idea is bollocks and i think its morally wrong, its contrived and makes my eyes bleed.
I even hate the way its shot and hate the way it makes me feel – dirty!
Its not in touch with reality, everything feels set up and its got the hands of the adman all over those kids faces, they look like puppets.
It’s trying to be all nostalgic like those jaffing Mcdonalds ad’s with kids fucking about on a farm… pfff.
John W. You feeling alright?
Who is the team and who directed it?
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by James Beswick, Ben Kay. Ben Kay said: New Post: arse gravy http://ow.ly/3KbE5 […]
I‚Äôve seen that before somewhere…oh right:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RyPamyWotM
Spot on analysis. Using cute kids to tug on my heart strings in a totally ‘fuck off that will never happen way’. Utter arse.
What about this citroen one? Ever comment on this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo5xM24YkRU
What about the Sure “Won’t leave white marks” ad? A more complex, unbelievable and, dare I say it, shit way of saying something simple, I have yet to see. It smells of planners, research and client. Not good for a deodorant.
Those nebelwurfers make a racket don’t they?
Tony Barry directed it.
The creatives aren’t listed in credits on Campaign website, maybe they are too ashamed?
Oh come on what is wrong with sausages?
Seriously.
Bangers and mash and Bisto gravy is fine.
Bisto is a labour saving product most people don’t cook a rib of beef most days. Yet we like gravy.
Weird aren’t we
I can’t see what is wrong with sitting down with your family and eating bangers and mash and Bisto.
If you choose to feel guilty that is your choice but most of us don’t.
You may feel you are having a pop at the corporation but I expect you are really belittling ordinary people,
because we don’t know how to eat properly or see behind the lies, only you clever middle class folk can do that.
You worry we may be taken in by the big bogey man RHM. We’ll be okay trust me, we drink WKD, shag without condoms and watch the X Factor. I am sure we’ll cope with a crap ad about Bisto we are well aware it isn’t proper gravy, worry not.
Reminds me of the old Watford brief that I’ve seen in more student books than I’ve had wanks (and that, my friends is a FUCKING lot of books):
“Make the modern family reappraise their hectic lives and sit down to dinner together/more than just once a week.”
Guff/poo/shit/crap/turd/fluff/bum chutney/dangleberries.
Yeh, because as we all know, most 8 year olds hate playing outside or with their mates. No, what an 8 year old wants more than anything is to be forced to sit at a table, quietly, for ‘familiy time’ and eat fucking Bisto. How could anyone who has spent more than 2 minutes around kids believe any of this shit?
Another note on manipulating parents (or trying anyway) what about this little gem – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z03SEPGC_EA&feature=related
If you don’t dye your shitty grey hair like your daughters want, you’re denying them the chance of getting a new Mum…. You fucking shit!
Anon 11, I explained what’s wrong with sausages.
Then all you’re doing is refuting points that I haven’t made.
Bangers and mash and Bisto gravy is fine. But to hold it up as a proper meal with proper gravy, implying that it’s a cut above what ‘ordinary people’ eat is to commit the crime of which you accuse me.
It’s nothing special. Exactly. There’s nothing wrong with it. Exactly. So holding it up as some ‘proper meal’ which is beyond an everyday offering is bullshit that talks down to the people the ad is aimed at. The people behind the ad think these ordinary people are thick enough to buy this rubbish. Don’t you think that is offensive?
And of course I’m having a go at the corporation, you fucking berk. Read the RHM paragraph again and find a proper hole in it. What you’ve done instead is guess at something completely unrelated. How am I belittling ‘ordinary people’? I don’t worry about them being taken in by RHM. I take offence at RHM’s corporate bullshit which is really just there to make money, not, as this ad suggests, provide ‘proper gravy’ that families can sit down ‘together’ and enjoy. Families can have a great time over four Pot Noodles or a bargain bucket from KFC. At least those two companies don’t try to bullshit anyone into it.
I never suggested for a moment that ‘ordinary people’ would be taken in by this, or can’t tell the difference between Bisto and real gravy. I think they can do exactly that, which is why the ad is so depressingly patronising, but the ‘clever middle class folk’ behind it are the people who have done the patronising, not me.
I’ve happily done everything you mention in your last paragraph so I don’t have a problem with any of it.
But I do have a problem with thick cunts like you spouting off presumptions that you haven’t thought through. Or maybe you have thought them through, which would be even more depressing.
That’s it Ben. Get in there. Swear at the guy. Call him a cunt, a fucking berk for disagreeing with you.
After all you don’t want to sound like a patronising middle class cock advising people on what to eat (not sausages, surely) and how to make gravy (flour with a drop of wine/cider/sherry, I mean what else?)
I think I’ve given the wrong impression here:
I love sausages. Eat them all the time. But they’re not very good for you, and that’s a fact, not an opinion.
Calling them ‘proper food’ does suggest they are some way superior to ‘improper’ food, which they aren’t. They’re down there with the least healthy offerings in your average supermarket.
That recipe for gravy is just a recipe for gravy. That’s how you make ‘proper’ gravy. There can only really be two kinds of gravy: Bisto-type granule stuff and real stuff made from natural ingredients. Which one would you say is the ‘proper’ one (the implications of the word ‘proper’ being that there is an ‘improper’ version to which Bisto is superior)?
I’m not advising people about sausages or gravy. I’m pointing out that they way they have been presented in this ad is mendacious and patronising, and that’s wrong.
And I didn’t call anon 11 a cunt for disagreeing with me. I did so for missing my point and being rude to me on the basis of that. Something you’ve just done.
Please try to read what I’ve written again, but this time do it after you’ve removed your fuckbrained head from your shit-crammed arse.
LOL.
Oh Ben it was all going so well and then you lost your shit. Keep it together son. For the kids.
Losing my shit is quite fun, now and again.
Ben, I stand corrected you make some good points and I put you in a box that maybe you don’t deserve. I think it was the swearing that did it. Does that sound patronising, it wasn’t meant to. And we are all entitled to lose our shit at times, it is fun.
thanks anon 11. I think swearing adds a bit of colour sometimes, like a beautiful rainbow.
I feel sorry for the cunts who had to make this… they probably didn’t get much of a choice in the matter.
We’ve all got a choice.
Derek P.
I was doctored for calling Ben an arsehole fan.
Must try not to do that in future.
I am a very naughty boy.
Like Wayne Rooney.
Who bangs granny whores.
The team probably got a rats arse dead end brief and just got their heads down, then client railroaded and are now probably thinking “fuck”. I know what its like at that agency is all.
The director had a choice and didn’t use it wisely mind, swerving turds is an important skill.
Why is everyone so bloody gay (probably can’t say that) on the campaign comments section?
Just watched that (SORRY ANON. I’M NOT ALLOWED TO PUT THAT COMMENT UP). Then read the comments to find out that I was totally wrong… Am I losing it?
Ben, you’re having an argument with someone about sausges and gravy. You’re a published author now you don’t need to stand for this shit now.
I’m telling you, it’s the planners (sang in a ‘I told you so’ kind of way).
I’ve rather enjoyed today’s arguments. they’ve helped me clarify things for myself.
Thanks, anons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt6iEGzLPjg
why did you change the title of this post from “insulting shite”?
It occurred to me later and I thought it was funnier, so I changed it.
very good post and points you raise, ben! come on peole, who of you believes that a powder with such lovely ingredients as various e numbers is part of a healthy, proper meal?!
it is beyond patronising to suggest this is proper food. that people this is aimed at would be so stupid to believe it is ridiculous. anyone wants to talk about effectiveness of advertising messages?
the point i find even more disgusting is that bisto plays the reassurance card. come one, mum, it is not so bad to serve that shit, your kids love it, its the way to go. its proper. they will even make all kinds of promises to get it.
btw, why should kids promise anything to get proper food? its not like they would be allowed to eat a ton of sweets in return. its just gravy powder. purlease!
You British certainly are strange. Gravy on sausages? WTF? I mean, we Americans are the fattest country on earth, and we don’t do crazy shit like that. And I agree with Ben. There’s nothing proper about sausages or powdered gravy. That being said, housewives will love the children and go out and buy Bisto. Sad to say, but sometimes even crap like this makes the cash register ring.
Would have been a great ad for seat belts. At the end you show a grieving mother who says “I promise to make sure my child wears a seat belt.” Camera pans back to reveal she is standing in a grave yard.
Quality rant, Ben.
Agree with Ben and the haterz on this one. Definitely offensive and patronising to parents. Of course we’ll give our kids sausages sometimes. Maybe we’ll put gravy on top, perhaps even your powdered shite. But we won’t pat ourselves on the back afterwards for being great parents.
Ben, while I’m here, sorry to go off track, but is there any chance I could ask you something (novel) writing related? If so, give me a shout at antmelder@hotmail.com
Thanks.
Well, I’d like to thank my mum for confirming that I’m a raving a sausage jockey.
Are you lost in the sausage? I have always liked a sausage. Please give me more information about sausages. I can tell a proper sausage .In my country sausage can mean many things.
Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve read your blog. Is it me or have you got a teensy bit angrier over the last year or so?
Of course you’re right about the nutritional value of gravy, but criticising a brand (or agency or team or whatever) for appealing to people’s emotions to sell them something they don’t really need, just so they can make money is a bit rich when that’s pretty much the whole fucking point of advertising, or business for that matter.
The reason this ad is so woeful is because it’s tired and dull. Don’t try and make it a moral issue, we dont really have any legs to stand on there (and ads for charities, road safety and low-fat crisps do not even start to make up for it).
I’m assuming when talking mash you mean http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKt-KR1TsRg
Whoa.
I seem to have joined this late. It’s all getting a bit scampblog over here isn’t it?
Take it you don’t like bisto ben?
Ironic since you’ve wasted 18 months adding to the litererary bargain bin of shit. Your novel won’t change the world or inspire anything. It is essentially bisto for eyes.
Though I agree the ad is a bit meh because of the proper gravy line. They should have said any old meal with runny e-numbers.
Anon 41: I wasn’t trying to change the world (how many novels do that? Much, much less than 1%?). I was just trying to write a book people would enjoy. Some people have enjoyed it. Job done. If it inspires anything, again that wasn’t my intention or expectation, but I’d be pleased to hear that it had. Bisto for the eyes? Bisto for the brain, maybe.
Is being ‘a bit scampblog’ an insult? Seems fine to me. I wish scamp would return.
I don’t want to sound patronising, because that would be ironic, but I think you need to look up the definition of irony.
In summing up, I don’t think your comment reflects very well on you, unless you are incredibly stupid and merely wanted to come off as ‘quite stupid’.
@ Craig: I don’t think so overall. Why not read more of the recent posts and make your own mind up?
My problem with this ad is the ‘patronising guilt trip’ part of it. Ads don’t have to do that when they ‘appeal to people‚Äôs emotions to sell them something they don‚Äôt really need, just so they can make money’.
Join the club of people who missed the point.
Golly, there are quite a lot of you, aren’t there?
41, wheres your novel. cant wait to read it.
to position bisto as proper (and this has a healthy ring to it) food is just wrong and misleading, and therefore stupid. can bisto be a quick fix if you dont have anything to make gravy from? yes. but no, it is not the best shit in the world. so dont try to sell it like it would be.
I agree with you Mary.
If you read what I said again.
Proper has got client/planner written all over it.
But the ad is doing what bens book does. The job it was intended to do.
I don’t think my book is a patronising attempt to induce feelings of guilt.
That’s the difference.
And how do you know this ad does the job it was intended to do? Are you a planner at McCann’s?
Just had a quick flick through. Guess I caught you on a bad day.
How many people need to miss the point before you start to suspect you’re not making it very well?
Either you’re angry because they pretend it’s good for you when it’s not, in which case I agree, let’s ban the advertising of all unhealthy things, or you’re angry because they use the negative emotion of guilt, to which I would call hypocrisy – Nike pedal plastic shoes to kids who can afford them by using envy and hope against them, but somehow that’s ok because the team gets to travel round the world an spunk millions over the best directors and Christiano Ronaldo’s tits – or, you’re angry because it’s patronising, in which case fuck ’em, if people feel patronised they won’t buy the damn gravy – nobody could claim that patronising makes advertising work harder.
Or is it none of these things?
“CAN’T afford them” Damn my fat thumbs.
No, you could tell if I was because each post would end with an overdose. That is a teet I wish no one the miss fortune of suckling from.
This is what happens when a brief involves the words engage, manifesto, change the world, interactive, social, Facebook group and the phrase ‘57.5% of families don’t sit down round a pot of gravy tickling each other, let’s change that’. I bet you can tweet the sausage and follow it as it gets digested and then pooped out.
Mmmmm. Follow the sausage.
Craig, the vast majority of people got what I was saying. That’s fine by me. I can’t always accommodate every kind of reader here.
I’m angry because it’s designed to be guilt-tripping and is patronising (I have said this before). There’s no need to make work that does that. It makes the industry as a whole look worse, cheapens what we do still further and makes watching the ad an unnecessarily negative experience.
I’m not repeating that again. Anyone who still doesn’t get this but still wants to have a go at me is going to get called a cunt. In very big letters.
Maybe. So thank god for sites like yours Ben. Allowing the pre pubescent fuck and shit gags and the name calling of the disenfrachised never was and never will be’s to make us all look good.
Fuck off you cunt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_osQvkeNRM
And who are these disenfranchised?
And could you have another go at writing your comment so that it makes sense?
Couldn’t be bothered to check all the links, but did anyone notice how similar it is to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ_XSHpIbZE
Which is a good advert.
This is what happens when planners get hold of the YouTubes.
Aah Bristow http://bit.ly/gEXs8L
Fair enough, although I maintain that several of us are not missing your point, we’re just disagreeing with it. Of course I’m not suggesting that you misinterpret our comments as misunderstandings because you arrogantly believe it to be impossible to hear your word and not instantly be converted by the holy facts. I’m not suggesting that.
I’m with you all the way on the swearing front though, anyone who finds it anything other than funny is a massive fucking prick.
Ps: would love to see a film of Stephen Fry celebrating the N-word. Can anyone sort that out? Cheers.
Oh, Craig…
Dear, dear Craig.
45, no, i dont think the bisto ad does the job. unless the job is talking crap, over-promising, under-delivering and lying.
the mean little bitch i am, i would love to see all those kids faces who taste bisto and are getting upset because it is not so great as the other kids said. mum did something wrong! and then look at mums disappointment. dad is going to have an awful night.
the reality is that to anyone that isn’t a middle class advertising type, Bisto is what the public consider gravy to be. And hand made organic sausages are neither within their radar or budget. I would suggest the patronising tone here is delivered by the suggestion that what you are calling “powdery shit” is what most normal people would consider to be decent food.
I don’t think anyone expects Bisto to actually care about the “fabric of the family”, asking a little much I’d say and I imagine the everyday people your comments patronise would find the suggestion laughable.
If this ad makes you this angry then I assume you do a lot of yoga to compensate.
Will, I put your comment up here because I didn’t want you to think I had been chastened by your brilliant argument.
Please, for God’s sake, read the post and the comments again.