I Started My ‘Career’ In Advertising About Twelve Years, Two Months And A Couple Of Weeks Ago

To mark this momentous anniversary, I’ve written a poem (I know poems that rhyme and scan are for thick people, but you get what you’re given).
The ad world was a different place in nineteen ninety-six.
The internet was nascent and could not provide a fix
For every brief that proved too hard for one to quickly solve,
Instead you had to think (and wait for YouTube to evolve).
In fact the web was to some folks a mere object of scorn,
That catered just for Red Dwarf fans and those of kiddie porn.
No Blackberries or mobile phones meant you could disappear
To cinemas or pubs and lose the afternoon in beer.
Each print shoot took much longer so more work could be avoided
As each test shot was set up, checked, re-checked and Polaroided.
There was no W and K, no Fallon, no Cabral,
And yet the ads were better than they seem to be right now.
The budgets were much higher and the only place to go
Was to the door of Tony Kaye (he still had his mojo).
The process differed quite a bit because the client sods
Did not require all those bloody pre-pre-pre-pre-prods
Design and Art Direction? It was resolutely British,
Not Afghan, Dutch, Nigerian, Pharsee or Innuitish.
Umatics, wet proofs, chinagraphs, they’ve all bitten the dust
Like trying to eat at Coast and Eva Herzigova’s bust.
But those days missed some great things too: Gorillas, Mountains, Cogs
And wasting hours of your life on advertising blogs.