Everyone stop what you’re doing: Sir Martin Sorrell has something to say.

Do you ever notice how Martin Sorrell’s predictions always get quoted in the press despite being utterly crapulent?

Every few months he comes along and predicts recessions to be certain shapes (‘L’, ‘V’, ‘Bath’, ‘Dog’, ‘Fanny’ etc.), then we watch as at least one of the several possibilities comes true. It’s like aiming at a target with a shotgun: only a complete idiot could fail to hit the bullseye.

But, y’know, he’s Sir Martin Sorrell, and people have to fill media sections of newspapers with something, so they keep on quoting the guy who can see the future about as well as Stevie Wonder can see his socks.

This time he’s telling us how much advertisers and readers will be looking forward to a Sun on Sunday.

I guess he’s right. It will indeed sell quite a few copies to the many people who miss reading that newspaper that listened in on the voicemails of a murdered teenager and printed the diary of a bereaved mother without her permission just to make some more money for a billionaire. But then I could have predicted that. In fact that’s what I just did a couple of sentences ago, because it’s completely fucking obvious.

And yes: advertisers will also be looking forward to placing their messages somewhere that lots of people will read them. The SoS will be an extension of The Sun, so if compamies don’t have a problem advertising there on Thursday then they’re unlikely to have a problem advertising there on Sunday.

Unlike Dickhead (see the comments section of the ‘Brand of the Free’ post below), I don’t have a problem with him ‘abusing his knighthood’. I find knighthoods quite funny because they have little or no actual value: a bunch of people think you did something good or owed you a favour and decided to give you some letters to go before or after your name. Nothing else changes. You get no more power. Many, many, questionable people have been given them and some people use the award as an excuse to behave like giant bells. So where’s the merit in that?

Anyway, back to Sir Martin of Sorrell: of course the diminutive tycoon wants to promote the Sun on Sunday. It means that WPP’s clients will be spending more media and production cash through his agencies, lining his pockets still further AND giving him the opportunity to slurp Murdoch’s bunghole again.

What could possibly be wrong with that?