If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

Hey, I like to chuck the word genius around willy-nilly as much as the next guy, but in this case I think it’s worth acknowledging just how amazing a creation Alan Partridge really is.

I missed the whole radio thing, but from The Day Today onwards I’ve found him to be one of the funniest, best-observed, most perceptive comic inventions of our time.

He’s 22 years old now and I struggle to think of any character that has developed through their career in many different stages like Alan has.

There was the fantastic Knowing Me, Knowing You, I’m Alan Partridge, Anglian Lives and several others, culminating in the recent Alpha Papa movie.

Of course, a single joke could never last this long, so he’s adapted to different circumstances over the years and we’ve lived that along with him. Contrary to surface appearances I believe that we don’t so much think of him as a gormless twat, but more as one of us. When he says ‘Smell my cheese!’ in desperation to the controller of BBC1 we recognise that situation where circumstances have conspired to leave us watching our dreams disappear. But whereas we would just sit and watch sadly, Alan goes further and part of us envies him for not letting it go.

If you watch this Armando Iannucci interview you discover that they didn’t deliberately give him awful taste; he actually likes some quite ‘cool’ things. They didn’t make him come from a comedy daft town like (as was most appropriate in the 90s) Milton Keynes; he comes from Norwich, which is sort of sad and pathetic, yet at the same time neither of those things.

This is where a character gains longevity: he’s not so much a gag as a real person with well-rounded believability, and that’s why he can develop in new areas.

One of which is the Alan Partridge app, which plays chunks of his Morning Matters digital radio show interspersed with your own music collection. The Partridge bits are very funny, but there’s another odd layer of humour that happens when Kanye West songs become part of his show.

Here’s another interview with Armando Iannucci on the subject.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF0IhyAasWw

I put that up on this blog about three years ago.

I then received a stern email from someone threatening legal action if I didn’t remove it.

But if it’s been on Vimeo for two years they must have chilled out about it.

I hope.

There’s an interesting book doing the rounds called Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir (actually, I have no idea if it’s interesting or not; I’ve read no more of it than this review).

It suggests the following: It’s not that foolish choices make you poor; it’s that poverty’s effects on the mind lead to bad choices. Living with too little imposes huge psychic costs, reducing our mental bandwidth and distorting our decisionmaking in ways that dig us deeper into a bad situation.

Apparently asking people to contemplate a £1000 car repair bill reduces your IQ by 13 or 14 points.

But… ‘Their most arresting claim is that the same effects kick in – albeit not always with such grave implications – in any conditions of scarcity, not just lack of money. Chronically busy people, suffering from a scarcity of time, also demonstrate impaired abilities and make self-defeating choices, such as unproductive multi-tasking or neglecting family for work. Lonely people, suffering from a scarcity of social contact, become hyper-focused on their loneliness, prompting behaviours that render it worse.’

Right… So anything you’re short of makes you so fixated at the shortfall that you become crap at making up for it. I don’t know if the reverse is true, but I suspect it might be: if you’re good at something or have loads of it then you’re more set up to acquire still greater amounts. Those who are able to find girlfriends, write songs or get fit with ease will continue to do so because they have no paralysis of doubt, nor do they need to spend so much of their brainpower working out how to do something they already know how to do.

The review continues…

‘Scarcity ends up reaffirming one of the oldest truths: that what really explains the world is its division into haves and have-nots. The clear message to those with resources – money, time, or anything else – is to resist the urge to judge those without them. If you faced the same scarcity, Mullainathan and Shafir demonstrate, you’d make the same mistakes. Indeed, in some area of your life – if not your spending, then your work/life balance or your diet – you’re almost certainly already doing so.’

Well, that’s just a version of another clear truth: if you were born with the genes and circumstances of anyone else on the planet you’d be doing exactly what they are doing, and that extends to child molesters and traffic wardens.

There but for the grace of chance…

Vegas 1976 (thanks, T).

Great David Fincher interview.

The innovation of loneliness (thanks, G):

Lessons in cinematography  and use of light (thanks, G).

John Cleese on creativity (thanks, M):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijtQP9nwrQA#t=607

Great early Kubrick photos (thanks, G).

The history of the world in one gorgeous chart (thanks, M).

Chun Li’s revenge (thanks, G).

Better than Affleck (thanks, W).

10 great movie heists (thanks, G):

Movie trailer voice guy doc.

15 Simpsons episodes that perfectly capture their eras (thanks, G).

Miley Cyrus twerks on famous paintings (thanks, T).

Beyonce/Beasties live remix (thanks, G):

Albanian women who have lived their lives as men (thanks, G).

Crazy Japanese video game (thanks, G):

Amazing close calls (thanks, G).

Do not watch this (thanks, G).

Rage Of Thrones (thanks, T):

I’m always a bit amazed when big celeb/ad projects happen. The ability to synchronise the schedules of the people involved alone is worthy of a big pat on the back, but when something really very cool is created then I’m even more impressed.

Which brings me to this collaboration between Blackberry and the excellent writer Neil Gaiman (interest declared: it was done by my friends Sonny and Milo at AMV). Neil tweeted questions about each month then used the answers to inspire him to write a calendar of stories, then he put the work out there to be illustrated by his fans:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF7-15KQQS4&list=PLSV1iA-lr7ynGlnOv5b2ct0G304pF-xKd&index=1

According to the website:

The new BlackBerry® Z10 is designed to keep you moving, so we gave it to some people who never stop. Some incredibly talented and ambitious people who are always looking for the next exciting challenge.

That’s where you came in.

They each collaborated with their fans, in a variety of ways, on their own unique, groundbreaking project with BlackBerry. Alicia Keys, Robert Rodriguez and Neil Gaiman have now, with your help, completed their projects.

Visit their project pages to see the fantastic work you helped them to create.

This has also inspired the Miley Cyrus midlife-crisis-at-20 project, where we all send in ideas for what she’ll find most embarrassing when she hits 40 and she films the ten worst ones. You already saw number ten at the VMAs on Sunday. Keep your eyes peeled number nine: the Ian McKellen sex tape.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efAUCG9oTb8&feature=youtu.be

(I believe this is the work of Gerry Graf.)

It doesn’t mean ‘every day’.

When you are absorbed in studying something you don’t pour over it, you pore over it.

It’s remuneration, not renumeration.

The new definition of literally (‘To acknowledge that something is not literally true but is used for emphasis or to express strong feeling’) is a fucking disaster. There is only one word that means literally (as in its other definition of ‘exactly’), so to dilute and confuse it by also giving it the meaning stupid people have been giving it for years does the English language no favours (see also: infer).

I understand typos, dyslexia and all that jazz, but if you’re an adult who doesn’t know why ‘your’ is different from ‘you’re’ you should clear a day or two to learn that difference just so intelligent people don’t think you’re stupid. The same goes for ‘its’ and ‘it’s’.

And I mention these examples not (entirely) because I’m a miserable pedant. They annoy me because they undermine the workability of the language. Now that the morons have taken over literally and infer we no longer have words with their original meanings. When someone says they ‘literally caught ten fish yesterday’ we have no idea if they actually caught exactly ten fish or they caught eight and feel like adding in some emphasis. And God knows what the hell you’re supposed to think when someone tells you they inferred that the president has died.

Maybe we should just accept that people can do whatever they want with the language – after all, if your intended meaning is conveyed to some degree then job done – but with every error of meaning there becomes an erosion of accuracy that could be avoided.

But I’d be interested to know if I’m alone in thinking this way. Do you have any English bugbears? Do you fail to give a toss as you fail to apostrophise correctly? Are you an art director? (Joke. Some of the best writers I know are art directors.)

Answers’ in the comment’s.

Anna Denton (wife of Mark) has written her first play. I read it a while ago and thought it was excellent.

It’s the story of the ladies (and a bloke) who work in the call centre for a sex aids company. The dialogue and vibe reminded me a lot of Abigail’s party, but the situation is really funny and original. Here’s the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R073MjlxgI

It’s on at the Riverside Studios in October for a 4 week run (tickets available here). Anna is also the (first time) producer and Mark is the executive producer (whatever that means) and boss of the advertising that has to sell 5000 tickets. Other talented people have helped, including Coy!’s Fern Berresford, who shot the image for the poster and directed the trailer.

Mark’s started a new company called Coy Content off the back of it (because everyone’s talking about content and a play feels like a genuine bit of content) and the website for that will be up in a week or so.

Funny statue interactions (thanks, C).

Brilliant Beatles comic (thanks, T).

Grass beatboxing (thanks, G):

The Wire as animated gifs (thanks, T).

Chicken McNuggets… Yum!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fuL-E2hPlc#at=193

“You just don’t get it, do you?”:

Moon hoax not (thanks, G):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=sGXTF6bs1IU&t=1

And movie titles in movies:

Quentin Tarantino talks food=power in his films (thanks, G):

Bradley Cooper defies Louis CK (thanks, D):

Hovering art directors (thanks, V).

Very fascinating world maps (thanks, J).

Brilliant interview with Scorsese, Spielberg and Lucas in 1990 (includes fast-forwarded 1990 ads):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0TTuEqk8LE

Wait till Chris Rock says ‘Did he do the whistle?:

German fork lift truck instructional video (thanks, G):

Untitled screenplays (thanks, D).

Middle-aged librarians recreate Sabotage video (thanks, T):

http://vimeo.com/66169135#

Great cover of ‘You Can’t Touch This’ (thanks, G):

The essential guide to Kubrick’s 2001.

Fuck it, here’s Rapper’s Delight in German (thanks, R):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CkKft6Rrq00#t=51