If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMzgl0nFj3s

The first few times I saw that I stopped watching after 30 seconds, assuming it was an ad for Pedigree Chum.

Then I saw it in the cinema (no escape) and finally understood.

Or rather I didn’t.

You see, I don’t get what being ‘more dog’ has to do with a mobile network.

‘Click on the link, Ben! Visit the website!’

Sorry. If the ad doesn’t make me do that, I don’t do it. That’s how ads do/don’t work.

I think it’s very well shot though, and the script is pretty good.

In my old age I’ve come round to thinking that the only thing that really has any significance is the degree to which something is or isn’t workable.

You want to have a long and happy marriage? Are you doing things that will make that work?

You want to win a D&AD Pencil? Are your current circumstances likely to make that work?

You want to go to sleep? How does what you’re doing make that work?

It’s as simple as that. Either you are doing what works for what you want to achieve or you aren’t.

If not, change your behaviour until you’re doing something that make your aim more workable.

I think that way happiness lies.

I could reprint the whole thing, but it’s already appeared in Campaign, so here’s a link to its reappearance on the Coy-Com blog.

Mark Denton wrote it as his ‘View From The Top’ ten days ago. It’s funny, perceptive and painfully true.

It’s also brave.

That’s because hardly anyone in UK advertising ever dares to even consider nibbling the hand that feeds them, let alone doing what Mark did, which was to hold up a mirror (albeit a funny, charming one) to an ugly side of the entire industry. Yes, it’s about production companies but its main thrust is the way agencies, and by extension clients, have been complicit in the degradation of what we do. For the last ten years little things like respect, politeness, fairness and decency have been gently shuffled off the table like so many irrelevant crumbs and this article points that out with a wit whose subtlety is somewhat out of character for its author (the sense of humour, however, is delightfully Dentonesque). It’s also clear to anyone with an IQ in double figures that those behavioural compromises are symptomatic of a far more debilitating disease; one that has done its best to send the quality of advertising sliding gently downwards for years.

Fortunately Mark’s words touched something of a nerve and have since been discussed by the APA and the IPA. He has also been besieged by supportive emails and phone calls from as far away as San francisco, Sydney and Thailand (suggesting this problem is international), along with complimentary shouts in the streets of London. Agency producers have rung up to apologise and, most heartening of all, the quality and quantity of biscuits laid on at meetings has increased immeasurably.

Wonderful. I hope it also leads to more substantial results that bring permanent changes to the ridiculousness of the pitching process (by the way, I’ve recently heard that Blink will no longer pitch for jobs. Further much-needed bravery…)

I found myself cheering Mark’s words louder than most because I have friends on the production company side of the UK ad industry. It’s no exaggeration to say that I’ve spent much of the last decade hearing their increasingly strong and reasonable complaints about how much more they are being asked to do and how much less they are being paid to do it.

Yes, the job is a ‘fun’ and ‘interesting’ one when compared to most alternatives.

Yes, it can be very lucrative.

Yes, it’s not digging ditches.

But the hoops production companies now have to jump through for an ever-shrinking share of an ever-shrinking pot are the inevitable consequence of an industry that is having the fun and money squeezed out of it at an alarming rate. I’ve written before about the sliding wages (here’s a post from almost exactly three years ago) but I don’t think I’ve mentioned the knock-on effects of that belt-tightening on the other parts of the business.

I think the money side of it and the way that affects the end product is one thing, but the constant ridiculous demands that agencies make on production companies? How did that happen? The number of treatments required at all stages of the pitch is a ridiculous drain on resources that would be far better applied elsewhere. They started off as one small addition then gradually took over to become the colossal norm, but as Mark says, it’s a Google Images/Flickr/Instagram contest, where some unfortunate work experience lady (I generalise, but not that far from the truth) is asked to trawl through pictures of chimps and helicopters on the off-chance her selection will beat another bunch of chimp and helicopter pictures. How did we cope in the past, when there were no treatments, when you could tell from seeing a director’s reel and having a chat with him/her that he or she would be able to do the job?

The abrogation of responsibility in this industry is amazing: people who used to be able to make a decision based on their brain’s interpretation of some useful information now require their hand to be held as some poor sod spoon feeds them every last eventuality of what might occur. And what does that do to the creative process? It fucks with the magic: button down everything and nothing can fly.

Then there’s the other point that I’ve mentioned so many times: the less fun and pleasurable this industry becomes the fewer bright people it will attract and the worse the work will become, making the whole thing even less attractive. If I were starting out in the 60s and I saw how enjoyable advertising looked and how rich it could make me, as well the extent to which it could be a stepping stone to even more glamorous industries, such as movies or literature, I’d be in here like a shot. But the more of those benefits we remove, the less tempting it all seems to the next generation and the faster the downward spiral.

As Jesse J so perceptively put it, these days it’s all about the money, money, money, and anything that gets in that way of that will soon die an ignominious death.

We used to work in an industry where this couldn’t even win a Cannes Grand Prix:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zff9hVH3ptY

Now this wins five:

I rest the case I’ve been making since 2006.

What’s in Prince’s fridge? (Thanks, A.)

Kid celeb grammar police (thanks, C).

Headline of the year (thanks, T).

The dancing accountant (thanks, J).

Pick a lock with a drink can:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mpF2tWgHND8

Man sings five octaves on the piano (thanks, B).

Most perfectly timed photos ever (thanks, B).

Last words of the executed (thanks, J).

Best case study video of all time (thanks, J).

Which rappers lie most about their wealth?

America really does have talent:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=37sjxLl_gi8

Royal baby A-Z.

New wearable computer also sucks your dick (thanks, J):

Andy Mathieson is the guy who made(under Paul Belford’s excellent design) my Whois site and my portfolio site.

He’s just redone his own site and it’s spreading like wildfire. It’s had over three million hits in a week and continues to blaze its way through Twitter.

Check it out then you can see the excellent work he’s done for lots of other clients and maybe make use of him yourself.

Just a reminder: that is the star of The Godfather, Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, Heat etc.

He can’t be that poor.

Is he that poor?

Al, if you’d said how tight things were we’d have had a whip round. We owe you. We have loved you.

Sea of Love, Donnie Brasco, even Scent of a sodding Woman.

HOOOOOO-AHHH!!! That’s what you said to win your Oscar.

I’D LOVE SOME CASH!!! That’s what you said a few months ago.

Sniff…

Oh, hang on, he’s already sunk a long way lower than that:

I’ve just seen Stories We Tell, a sort of documentary that delves into the confusing past of actress/director Sarah Polley (if you haven’t seen it I highly recommend it).

The part that struck me was close to the end when her father said that he didn’t mind that his wife had an affair because it produced Sarah and made their marriage happier.

That’s an interesting attitude, but it shows that life can be a ghastly, should-destroying nightmare or a beautiful affirmation of the possibility of goodness. It just depends on how you look at it. If your wife has an affair and you find out that your daughter isn’t actually ‘yours’, you can take the path most people would and stew about it for the rest of your days, secretly planning violent revenge on all involved. Or you can see the great benefits to everyone including yourself and delight in the rest of your days.

The same thing happens in the underrated Martin Scorsese film The Age Of Innocence. Similarly, a wife finds out that for much of their time together her husband has secretly been in love with someone else (it was Michelle Pfeiffer circa 1993. Understandable). Her attitude is not a pissed off sense of betrayal, but a feeling of great happiness: her husband chose her over this woman he wanted so much. What greater sacrificial act of love could there be?

In the non-relationship world I recall Andy MacLeod calling middle of the road advertising incredibly brave. His point was that by making safe, anonymous ads a marketing manager was at a much higher risk of simply throwing his company’s money down the lav. Although I think he was being deliberately provocative, he was also right, and that new angle of looking at something we’d all dismissed was cleverly repositioned in a way that made it much easier to argue against.

So maybe you’re angry right now. Maybe you don’t have to be. Maybe you can’t alter your circumstances, but perhaps there’s another way of looking at your situation that leaves you giddy with delight instead of oppressed with hatred.

?

Dumb comments about Onion articles.

Shitty photoshopping in movie posters.

Racist literacy test.

Best debut albums of all time (thanks, A).

Real life GTA:

Early short films of great directors (thanks, L).

A compilation of the ‘best’ Vines (to me this proves my theory that all Vines are shit, but see what you think. Thanks, J):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKjkaGrYpHE&feature=player_embedded

Men wearing their girlfriends’ clothes (thanks, W).

Funny, sweary Tom Baker recording outtake (thanks, T):

Hello darling reader,

My friend is creating a brilliant project that’s going to be both big and interesting. I’m going to be getting involved at various stages, so I really believe in it.

But right now he needs a hand.

Are you either a web developer who wants to do some great work on a great project?

Old or young, whether you want to make a name for yourself or just add another brilliant piece to an already amazing portfolio…

If you’re reading this and thinking ‘Yes, but do I really want to get into this thing?’ I urge you to at least drop Brydon an email at brydongerus@gmail.com

Find out about it, then say yes or no.

Damn, I’m really fighting the urge to end this with ‘simples’.