If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

A few weeks ago I noticed that every single week, without fail, the main headline in Campaign told us that a big account was now up for pitch.

Not sure what today’s will be* (probably something rather exciting, just to make a mockery of the above and below), but I do wonder what that long run of accounts up for pitch could mean:

1. Lots of accounts are up for pitch. The simplest explanation is that for some odd reason of coincidence, the most important thing that happened every week from September onwards was the potential movement of an account. I suppose that’s possible, but then what does that mean? Lack of confidence amongst clients? A new trend for even shorter tenure of accounts? And why might that be? Economic jitters? Perhaps it’s a symptom of the downward spiral of the UK advertising industry that I’ve mentioned many times on this blog: the work gets worse, agencies have less credibility, clients have less confidence and trust in agencies to produce the goods, the atmosphere creates even worse work as the lack of trust takes hold, and then the account goes walkies. That sounds quite plausible.

2. The world of advertising has been quite dull of late. The front of Campaign used to have all sorts of far more interesting stories about so-and-so starting an agency or Mr. Volatile ECD being ‘ousted’. Either these are no longer happening or they’re not making the front page of Campaign, but then I don’t recall many such stories on the inside pages. Is UK advertising getting duller? I remember when January was full of stories about teams and CDs moving or new shops opening their doors. All the prep work would have been done at the end of the previous year (and besides, there’s no point announcing anything like that at the end of the year; everyone’s too pissed to care and will have forgotten by the time the holidays are over) and press releases fed into Campaign in the spirit of a new start to the new year. Anyway, that seems less prevalent this month, so maybe the budgets are tighter and the quietly-executed layoffs are making hirings lass common.

3. Campaign is even more boring than we thought. The running joke about Campaign lasting no longer than a Thursday morning trip to the lav (was that a joke, or is it just true?) is perhaps wearing thin as it struggles to fill its pages. It could be a consequence of the dullness of the industry, after all, with a dearth of interesting advertising or trumped up movements like the inexorable rise of digital, with what does it fill its pages? And I do sympathise: I’d like nothing more than a plethora of sparky ads and contentious issues with which to fill this blog, but it’s pretty dry out there.

So, out of interest, is it just me or is there nothing really going on? Is your agency producing top stuff that I’m not aware of? Has your ECD been replaced by the cleaner? Is there a phantom poo-er on the loose?

Answers on a postcard/comment section.

*UPDATE: The headline on today’s Campaign is also about some account under review.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MwwHJXLjg4

http://vimeo.com/35208320

Good to see my favourite animators adding a nice bit of live action to their skill set.

So there’s this event in many athletics meetings called the long jump. Its supposed purpose is to find out just how far a man (or woman) can jump, but despite the fact that it could very easily measure such a thing, it doesn’t.

That’s because the jumper has to take off from behind a white line that’s 20cm wide, and if the line is transgressed the jump is considered foul and not counted. So long jumping involves another very particular skill that can only succeed in reducing the length of a jump: the concentration required followed by the modification of the jump itself must always mean that the jump is compromised to some degree. Then there’s the fact that the jump is not measured from where the jumper takes off, but the foremost edge of the white area, so each jump ought to include the distance between the jumper’s take-off and the edge of the line, but it doesn’t.

Therefore, long jumping, which could measure the longest jump simply by placing a tape measure between take off and landing, wherever those two points might occur, doesn’t do that, and therefore doesn’t really measure man’s ability to jump as far as he can.

I was reminded of this the other day when watching an episode of Game of Thrones (if you’re interested it’s really very good). The timer showed that it would last 57:34, whereas the previous episode was 55:22, so although it comes in around an hour there is obviously no pressure to conform to the more exact timelengths of network TV (the show is made by US cable channel HBO). I would suggest that this can only improve the show, allowing it to end at its best point, rather than dragging on a bit longer or, more likely, getting cutting short, providing a less good result.

Which brings us to ads. How many times have you wished your ad was a 32.12″? Or a 68″? Well, tough shit, ‘cos (online aside), if its timelength doesn’t end in none-point-something seconds, you’re going to have to go back and make it worse. That’s right: you came up with a great idea, got it through a client/CD/cost controller, got just the right director on just the right day etc. only to come up against some arbitrary chronological imposition that stops it just short of greatness.

I’m not suggesting that it would be easy for TV companies to incorporate more haphazard timelengths, but fuck it, would it be that much of a stretch? You must have noticed those times when the last shot of the last ad in a break stays on screen a bit longer than usual. What’s all that about? Were there a few spare seconds knocking about? Couldn’t we be allowed to put them to good use?

The shaving of a few frames here or there may not seem like that big a deal, but it’s an imposition all of us could do without.*

*I don’t really want TV channels to allow more unusual timelengths. 99% of ads are so shit that a minor change in how long they last wouldn’t make a piss of difference, but, y’know, maybe we could lobby the International Olympic Committee or whatever they’re called.

Fancy a drink at this NSFW pub? (Thanks, S.)

Julian Assange interviewed in Rolling Stone (thanks, P).

Lionel Richie’s Hello made from lots of movie clips (thanks, G):

Anti-Ninja Turtle propaganda (thanks, P):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSXwWZ2SFw4&feature=youtu.be

Apocalypse Later, Surf Now (thanks, G):

Philosophy infographics (thanks, W).

Clay Shirky on the evils of SOPA (thanks, P):

What are the top 1% really like? (Thanks, W.)

Muhammed Ali signing tins of Ovaltine in a Norwich supermarket (thanks, H).

The most amazing waves you have ever, ever seen (thanks, S).

Excellent movie poster mash-up-type-thingies (thanks, A).

If you don’t have or know any kids, feel free to stop reading now. Skip to the Lurpak post or click on the link to Wieden’s blog on the right and read about their latest cupcakes competition/award-winning ad.

If you do have kids you might be interested in Scrapped. It’s a project run by my wife to raise money for our local primary school’s arts fund.

In the project’s own words, it’s ‘making good use of the stuff everyone takes for granted. We have created a one-off, two day event packed with creative workshops to inspire every and any kid.

Create a Scrap City – 3D Trees – Monster Masks – Super Scrap Art – Scrap Hanging Birds – Play Pots & Pans – Cook Something New – Get into Storytelling – Perform with masks…’

I think most parents understand the job mainly consists of thinking up things to do on weekends that your children will find both edifying and entertaining. Unfortunately that’s about nine million times harder than you might think, so thank god for things like this.

Here’s the project’s main site which has more information and booking facilities.

See you there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MspN-CBOTaw#!

Still brilliantly shot, well written and inspiring.

Which is odd when you think that essentially they’re kind of the same as each other.

UPDATE: My wife’s in this one. Small world and all that.

I went to see Jerusalem on Saturday. As it was the last night, the lead actor spent a while thanking everyone involved, which included us, the audience. He said that he was grateful to us because the production just plants a seed, but then everything else happens in our imaginations and without that there would be nothing.

Interesting.

It reminded me of this lecture that I posted ten days ago:

Towards the end of it the lecturer suggests that we all exist within a version of Inception, where implanted ideas control the way we behave. Ultimately we don’t really know why we buy this car or that chocolate bar, but nevertheless we do so. He believes that we ae subject to suggestions placed in our minds by advertising that we can neither recognise nor consciously control.

On one side, that does feel like it has some truth in it, but on the other, we are are subject to many sub/unconscious influences that shape all our decisions and actions. Advertising may be more deliberate than most, but it just has to take its place in a chorus of voices vying for our attention.

And in the end it’s all down to what we are willing to listen to.

Something we have little choice over.

50 really very funny Facebook posts (thanks, M).

Things overheard at Goldman Sachs (thanks, J).

Art Thoughtz: Damian Hirst:

Support small businesses (in LA):

The latest beauty treatment (thanks, P):

007 song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aT8lJEgEuTk#!

That doesn’t make you a model:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yL_FMpE4zeU

Lovely bit of stop frame (thanks, P):

What is the opposite of FAIL?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PkT2_WL6ACE#!

I was in Sainsbury’s the other day (I wouldn’t normally shop there, but some crushed Bee Gee had nicked all the camembert out of Tesco) when I saw a pack of sausages described as ‘Butcher’s Choice’. I wonder what happened to qualify them for such an honour. Did – gasp! – an actual butcher choose the meat or sausages from a selection of other meats or sausages? And was this butcher a knuckle-dragging simian, whose most recent other task had been a dead-eyed and furious bout of onanism? Or perhaps he was the butcher from Fortnums, moonlighting in the Sainsbury’s abattoir for a few extra quid. We may never know the truth…

It reminded me that I often see additional words, particularly in the description of food, that have absolutely no real meaning at all.

1. Pan fried. Admittedly, there is another frying option (the deep fat fryer), but I think when we’re talking about sea bass or lamb chops the implication is fairly clear. In fact, it does rather smack of insecurity to think you ought to remove the possibility of deep fat fryer doubt. But at least it’s not as stupid as…

2. Oven baked. Have you ever baked something in something other than an oven? How do you do that? The dictionary says that it means cooking, especially in an oven, but it fails to specify where else you bake things. I think they might bake stuff in the sun in sub-Saharan Africa, but again, I wouldn’t really expect that to be one of the options when I’m eating at a gastropub in Camden.

3. Best-ever. I’ve seen this quite a lot on chocolate bars that have changed their formula slightly. On the surface it seems fine, but the implication must be that there is a possibility that a new iteration of the bar might not be its best-ever because, for some reason, they decided to make a slightly crappier one. Is that the case on all the bars that don’t have ‘best-ever’ on them? I think we should be told.

4. Limited edition. Kind of loses its cachet when it appears on a Kit-Kat Orange Chunky (limited to 342,221,937).

5. Homemade. So someone made this ice cream/cake/tart in their home, then brought it in to the restaurant? Who was it? Was it the chef? Why does he/she prefer to cook some things at home when he/she has a perfectly good professional kitchen to work in? What about all the hassle of bringing it in? Wouldn’t the ice cream melt a bit? Or did they just add a pointless adjective to that thing they got in a massive catering delivery?