If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

Cliches get a bad press, don’t they?

Boring as batshit.
Dull as ditchwater.
Familiarity breeds contempt (by the way, when I was younger, I always thought that was actually ‘familiarity breeds content’. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Your favourite paper, a cup of tea, a good old Jaffa Cake…that’s content in my book).

But the sad thing is that many of them are absolutely brilliant bits of imagery that could teach us a thing or two about verbal expression.

I just finished reading this article about the good points of cliches. It mentions fit as a fiddle. Now, when would you ever come up with that as a metaphor? Never. It’s too odd.

What about cool as a cucumber? Whoever invented that one must have gone round on a cloud of delight for years afterwards. It’s perfect. It makes no sense while simultaneously making all the sense in the world.

Easy as pie. How is pie easy? It’s not that easy to cook. It’s no easier to eat than, say, cake, or toast. When you remember there’s the other kind of ‘pi’, it’s not even easy to spell. And yet it works perfectly.

I guess these sayings are so familiar they’re just there without being there, kind of like oxygen.

All hell breaks loose? Brilliant.
Make a mountain out of a molehill? Fantastic.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel? Excellent.

When I wrote Economist lines I used to use cliche websites to start the thoughts off, and that’s where ‘What exactly is the benefit of the doubt?’ came from.

Making the familiar appear unfamiliar can be as useful as the other way round.

There’s been a few comments on the post below concerning this ad:

I think it’s worth a post of its own for a few reasons, all of which will become gracelessly clear in the near future.

The first thing to make clear is that it’s a remake of this Alexander McQueen ad. That’s not me being controversial – they’ve used the same director and the two pieces of film are virtually identical.

Other points of interest:

1. It’s one of those ads where I have no idea what the script said. Um… ‘We open on that YouTube clip we just showed you, then stick your logo on the end’. Thanks for the cash, SUCKAZZZ!!1!1!1!

2. Knowing the odd recent history of this brand’s advertising, I’m somewhat surprised they shelved the Jonathan Glazer/Walter Campbell spot to shift the account and make this. It’s pretty dull, forgettable and meaningless. The other ad at least lived up to the Bernbach maxim: ‘If nobody notices your ad, everything else is immaterial’. It was a rip-roaring french tickler of a spot, all dirty looks and thinly-disguised innuendo. The one they’ve chosen to run instead is a vanilla blancmange that you don’t even know is a vanilla blancmange. You eat it then wonder if it was a particularly mild slice of Battenburg instead. If you get my drift.

3. I’m surprised Fallon have gone down the YT-clip-plus-logo route. It ill behooves their creative credentials, particularly at a time when they have lost so much business. All they have to fall back on is their creativity. It’s what built that agency in the first place. Chuck it away and what’s left?

4. Will it sell a bar of Flake? I really don’t think so. Obviously it’s aimed at lay-deez, so I may not be best placed to judge, but do any of the female readers of this blog really want a Flake after watching that? If I was a chick I might want that dress, though. It’s all frilly and expensive-looking.

OK, OK…it’s a joke.

That was a pisstake based on this French McDonald’s ad with a gay bloke in it.

I think it’s fairly dull, and the twist is poorly handled, but the most amazing thing is that it’s 2010 and it’s still news to have a ‘gay’ ad.

So I think it’s news that this is news.

Anyone want to find it news that I think it’s news that that ad is news?

Do you want to do excellent, award-winning advertising?

Well, I have the secret.

About ten years ago, Cliff Freeman and Partners started winning everything going by doing ads for (among others) Fox Sports:

Those two campaigns came out in the same year. One got the Cannes Grand Prix, the other got Best Of Show at the One Show.

There were loads more, then TBWA continued the run with Beware Of Things Made In October and those ones where people didn’t feel pain because watching ice hockey made them tough.

I’ve just realised I could go on and on with this for so long I’d type my fingers to bloody stumps.

The point I’m trying to make is that TV STATIONS ARE AWARDS MAGNETS.

BBC and Channel 4 have won tons over the years. Even ITV got in last year’s book. Canal+ got a pencil this year, etc. etc. etc.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.

NOW ART GALLERIES ARE ALSO AWARDS MAGNETS.

The National Gallery got D&AD Gold last year, while Tate Britain and Modern work got a Cannes Grand Prix, Best of Show at the One Show and many others.

HANG ON, I’M NEARLY AT MY POINT.

HERE IT IS…

DOING ADS THAT USE OTHER PEOPLE’S GOOD SHIT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO DO ADS THAT LOTS OF PEOPLE LIKE.

It’s like doing charity ads but without having to enter the category that makes everyone think, ‘Of course it won. Who doesn’t agree that slavery and torture are bad?’ TV channel and art gallery ads allow you to use other people’s good, good, shit to make your stuff look even better. Classic art, sports, the BBC…what’s not to love?

I guess this is an extension of using sports stars and celebrities to sell things: you already like Michael Jordan/Peter Kay/Martin Scorsese, so you’re already halfway to liking this ad.

But TV channels give you something better than that: they allow you to circumvent the BACC because their ads are considered to be part of the programming. You can get away with all sorts of stuff other ads cannot. AND if you do an ad for the BBC you can use virtually any track you want FOR FREE.

Surely I can now rest my case and go back to watching Daily Show repeats on 4OD.

Go crazy. Work for a TV channel.

But remember: keep this top, top tip under your hat.

It seems to run out of steam at the end and some scenes work better than others, but it’s pretty cool.

Good to get George Lucas to loosen his nipple clamps for once.

Have a delightful weekend.

Here are some of the winners of D&AD 2010.

Your opinions are, as always, as welcome as a cat at Crufts:

Two Golds (to go with its multiple Cannes Grands Prix):

TV:

Animation & Use Of Music:

Writing for Advertising and TV (well done, Cam):

Direction:

TV:

Direction (my favourite):

Sound Design:

UPDATE:

Inexcusably I forgot the wonderful promo for Coldplay’s Strawberry Swing that was done by the peerless Shynola. Not sure why it didn’t get a Gold for animation.

I’m sticking the weekend stuff up today because I’ll probably do D&AD tomorrow. If you’re going tonight I may see you there.

The top eleven movies about writing.

iPad/StarWars (Thanks, N.):

And the new Dangermouse video with Joan from Mad Men.

(Thanks, P.)

While I’m here, I might as well mention the fact that according to last week’s poll most of you love the new Nike ad. It seems the rest of the world agrees, as it has now broken the viewing record on YouTube. I think, on reflection, that I’m a little ambivalent: fairly positive but still confused about the lack of a future for Didier and the inclusion of a bloke who hasn’t played for Brazil in over a year. AND if you can’t make a big ad with $12m then you should probably go and do something else for a living.

New poll when I can think of one…

UPDATE: Ed Morris has joined Rapier. I only mention this so I can say that I would never call an ad agency ‘Rapier’. I know what they mean but why not choose a type of sword that doesn’t sound like the kind of thing an unlicensed minicab driver with a fistful of Rohypnol would do?

Here’s a new ad from Droga 5 for some racing game (thanks, L.):

The odd thing about this ad, and I think this is the case for about one in a million commercials, is that it’s too short.

I wanted to see what else was going to happen to this cutesy-poo fellow who’s had his head turned by the dark side.

So if you’re reading this Droga 5, is there any chance of seeing his descent into crack pipe oblivion as he sells himself on street corners for the chance of a bit of proper racing?

Pretty please?

A few weeks ago I plugged the comedy night in aid of Reprieve.

Well, bollocks: I’ve only gone and effed up the babysitting arrangements.

So I can’t go.

Would you like go instead?

They’re good seats (row H of the stalls).

And it’s next Monday (June 7th).

Drop me an email if you’re interested (benkaywriter@gmail.com).

All I’d ask is that you make a donation to Reprieve (the best charity in the world).